Signs you're reading a bad movie review, vol. 2

#2: The use of the word "slow"

Nobody who describes movies as “slow” ever has anything meaningful to say about them, or gets the point, often because they didn't finish watching the movie. It's one thing to report pacing problems, or an excess of distracting subplots (see Fred Claus). But for some reason when people say a movie is “slow”, especially with heavy emphasis, they never seem to be able to express themselves in a more sophisticated way about any other aspect of the film, or communicate in any sense if it's atmospheric, if it lingers in silence over certain shots, if it's long in developing it's core plot... most often it means there just isn't enough tense, expository dialogue.

Sample Review:

Slooooooooooooooooowww. Shut it off after 15 minutes.