That was certainly a crazy game, in a weird atmosphere, all wholesome for Father's Day, except for all the drunks who weaved their way across the bridge for the game, wearing their hats with the baseball glove logo like a note from their mother pinned to their lapels, in case they lose their way in a foamy haze of Miller Lite and forget where they are or where they're going and need passers-by can point them in the right direction on game day. “You're lost? What does “Wango baishbahl” mean? Oh, baseball? Just this way down 6th to Chicago... yeah, you're welcome, no hugs, and don't throw up on my shoes, please.” Seriously, every time we play a Wisconsin team, the biggest bunch of drunken freaks with no ability to follow the game show up, like the guy behind me who could divine the results of double play attempts before the ball was even thrown, and screamed “Double play!” at random moments for a few innings, like when the pitcher was warming up. It's a blast when the Chicago and Detroit fans come to town, because while they're seriously all fucking nuts, they at least come for the game, not to drink and drool on people. Also an oddity for Father's Day, as a prostate cancer tie-in, they had the seventh inning stretch in the sixth inning, which was supposed to encourage all the fathers to go get prostate exams. It is important to have the doctor stick his finger up your bum every once in a while, but I can't say this enough, the guy at Steamworks wearing nothing but a stethoscope who checks your prostate with both his hands on your shoulders is NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
I thought the Twins were in some serious trouble after the first inning, when after Ryan Braun (barely) broke up what would have been a double play to end the inning, Kevin Slowey turned into Rick “Wild Thing” Vaughn and threw about 12 straight balls, walking two and finally getting the third out when Johnny Estrada was dumb enough to swing at one of his pitches off the plate and grounded out to 2nd. When the Twins came up, Joe Mauer and Michael Cuddyer tore into Jeff Suppan early, and I still say Cuddyer would have scored Mauer from first if his double hadn't bounced over the outfield wall... three feet to the right and it would have bounced off the baggy, with Mauer already halfway home. Justin Morneau put the Twins ahead with a sac fly to score Mauer, so things were looking up. Then Torii Hunter took a ball off his hands, and had to call for Lew Ford to come in for him. With Slowey looking pretty rough, I thought losing our superstar center fielder was going to kill the Twins, and it nearly did. Mike Redmond drove Cuddyer in to extend the early lead, and Slowey and the Twins defense held off the Brewers for a while, letting a few guys on but never letting them score.
The heart of the Twins line-up continued to pound the Brewers, even the generally useless Lew Ford had a hell of a game at the plate in relief of Torii Hunter, driving in four runs and scoring one himself. By the fifth, the Twins were up 5-0, when the Brewers cracked Slowey wide open, opening the inning with two solo home runs, but the Twins answered with four more runs, so the game looked safe. Slowey gave up a 2-run homer in the top of the sixth just to get it a bit closer, but with a 9-4 lead the bullpen came in to finish things off, despite a lack of run support. Matt Guerrier got the Twins out of the sixth and through the seventh cleanly, and then Juan Rincon apparently decided as a personal favor to our closer to give him a save opportunity. After a lead-off double by Geoff Jenkins, Craig Counsell, master of the Julio Franco batting stance, sent him home on a single, and Corey Hart, best known for wearing his sunglasses at night, hit a two-run homer to put the Brewers within two. Once he set up the save situation for Nathan, Rincon finished off the eighth, and our closer Joe Nathan came in to pitch the ninth, and our troubles really began.
Prince Fielder, the Brewers first baseman, is a very large, bulky man. He's 6'0” and 260 lbs, which makes him not too quick around the basepaths. He's the son of Cecil Fielder, a very large man who played for the Tigers, who had no speed around the basepaths, and only stole one base in his career... against the Twins. His wife didn't congratulate him when he called to tell her, because she didn't believe him without video evidence and a note from the umpire. I don't know what kind of freakish karma the Fielders have against the Twins, but Prince Fielder cashed in some more of it yesterday. He hit a high fly ball to center field, which looked like a fairly routine catch, except he lost the ball against the dirty baseball colored roof, and Fielder had a lucky base hit. Unfortunately, the ball went so high it hit a speaker and dropped nowhere near where Lew Ford positioned himself guessing the trajectory in the dark, and left fielder Jason Tyner cleverly failed to back up Ford on the play, so Fielder got extra bases as a further gift. Ford, when he finally fielded the ball, hesitated on the throw, and Fielder, chugging and jiggling his way around the bases, so unused to doing so he had to stutter step at second and third to make sure he didn't miss them, beat the throw home. Just another half second and the cut-off man could have gotten the ball to home plate. I inwardly groaned, knowing that play was going to feature heavily on “Around the Horn”. Just like the missed double play shook up Slowey, after that gift Nathan started pitching like crap. Three straight base hits scored the tying run for the Brewers, and with two runners in scoring position, Joe Nathan got it together and took out the next three batters, striking out Sunglasses at Night to end the inning. A blown save for Nathan, no win for Slowey, and a Father's Day gift for Jeff Suppan, who really deserved the loss after giving up 9 earned runs in five innings.
In the bottom of the ninth, with their bats having gone a bit quiet since the fifth, the Twins had AL MVP Justin Morneau up to lead off the inning. After his sacrifice in the first, Morneau had picked up another RBI in the third sending Mauer home on a double, and then the Brewers walked him in his next couple at-bats, so he'd been having a good game, with four productive plate appearances. Well, the second walk was intentional and set up a force-out at second, and was kind of bizarre since the guy batting behind Morneau had five RBIs, but nevertheless, a good game. After taking one pitch, Morneau drilled the next one over the baggy in right field, the kind of ball you know is over the wall right off his bat, for the walk off home run. With the stadium errupting, My Dad, not generally a trash talker, turned around to sarcastically chant “Let's go Brewers!” at the alkies preparing to retreat back across the St. Croix with their tails between their legs, and all was right in the world.
Piranhas 10, Alkies 9
Winning Pitcher: Joe Nathan (Blown Save)
Losing Pitcher: Chris Spurling
Prostate: Healthy
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