Mexico 3-1 Iran
I have to admit, I wasn't exactly boning for either of these games. The
Mexico-Iran game in particular showed these teams are not the class of
the tournament, with the clumsy mistakes that led to goals. Iran's goal
in particular, the keeper flubbed a cross and in a goalmouth scramble
Golmohmmadi knocked the ball in. Mexico ran a fake free kick, with one
guy running over the ball and another guy taking it, but they ran it so
slow it was like back when the SPA 8th grade soccer team used to run 4
guys over the ball just to screw around.
Mexico showed they were clearly the better team, but the Iranian defense
really gave them opportunities you can't blow. On the first goal, a
free kick was heading just wide of the goal but an unmarked Mexican
player tapped it into the corner. On the second, the keeper cleared the
ball right at Omar Bravo, who knocked it down, and the Iranian defender
who grabbed that tapped it right into Naelson, who passed it back to
Bravo for the goal. Two bad clearances... and the third goal the
defenders tracked back so far they were out of position on a cross to a
wide open Mexican player. I'd like to see Mexico against the rest of
the group, but Iran looked pretty rough. Bringing a coach to Germany
who says the Holocaust was a myth was definitely a way to show their
country in the best light as well. That's like a national team coach
saying all handicapped people were paying for the sins of a former
life... oh wait, England already went there.
ESPN is hitting new levels of intrusiveness, straining for even dumber
factoids, like telling us this was the 5th game in WC history in which a
team used all three subs by the 52nd minute, and that England's game was
the first 1-0 game decided by an own goal. They nearly missed Mexico's
2nd goal because they had cut away to training camp shots of the United
States, with Claudio Reyna (aka Captain America) doing aerobics. The
shots of Mexico City celebrating (with an ESPN DOS bug in the corner)
were nice, but what I really missed was the canned Iranian celebration
video from 1998, where the immaculately dressed guys were totally
hamming it up for the camera in a restaurant with no food on the tables,
while apparently in the street pandemonium was breaking out... women
were doffing their headscarves! Just wait until the entire population
of the Czech Republic change their names and move to Slovakia in shame
when they lose to us (it never hearts to dream).
Portugal 1-0 Angola
I really was rooting for Angola, because other than the early goal,
Portugal looked pretty flat. When Pauleta got in behind the defense and
nearly scored in the first minute, it really looked like a potential
rout, and a few minutes later when Figo coming down the left took on a
defender by playing the ball inside, to the right, then going outside
and passing the defender on his left, beating him to the ball then
cutting it back and to the middle for a trailing Pauleta, a sweet goal,
it looked like it could turn into a real Portuguese showcase. But it
was not to be, as Figo pretty much disappeared, and Cristiano Ronaldo
was more noteworthy for being fouled every 2 minutes by Angolan players
trying to stoke his legendary temper. Portugal has had a huge crop of
talent for the last 15 years but has done nothing with it, kind of like
the Netherlands with better weather.
Angola, like Cote d'Ivoire, started out pretty shaky, but didn't look
bad at all. The guy who stands out the most to me is not Akwa, their
lone superstar, but rather Loco, because he's got Damon Wayans'
hairstyle from that gay film critic sketch on In Living Color, and it
cracks me up. Well, him or Figueiredo, the blond white guy who looks
like some German fan ran out of the stands and onto the field and is
hoping security won't notice him.
I do have to say Akwa does look pretty talented, and kept trying to put
away chances with bicycle kicks trying to make the highlight reel. I'll
be curious to see where he ends up after the World Cup (Chicago Fire?)
but why is it that whenever I see Akwa running, I have to piss?
No comments:
Post a Comment