Italy v Ukraine

This game was nowhere near as lopsided as the score might imply, although Italy did clearly outclass the Ukraine. Even hanging with Italy after giving up an early goal is difficult, and the Ukraine took a couple really nice chances in the second half, but couldn't catch a break.

The perfect one touch passes on the give and go for the Italians were really fucking nice. Italy's first goal, came through that, when Zambrotta passed the ball forward and cut around a Ukrainian midfielder, and his teammate's first touch sent it right back to him, a few feet farther upfield with space to run. Zambrotta took a shot from the no-man's-land between midfield and the Ukraine's back line. A defender hesitated the came out and jumped to block the far post shot, and Zambrotta instead fired it along the ground between his legs, just inside the near post, with the keeper out of position and screened by his own defender.

I also liked the creativity on the set pieces from Italy, cracking out the goofier stuff. On a free kick facing a wall, Grosso sets up to take the kick, but leaves it for Pirlo and cuts around the wall, and Pirlo chips it to him behind the wall, while the Ukraine's trying to figure out what's going on. It was cleared, but still amusing to watch. Italy's second goal came off a short corner, and a cross by Francesco Totti to Luca Toni. Toni scored Italy's third as well from a run by Zambrotta, splitting two defenders on the left side and pulling the whole D his way, but they couldn't slow him down until the keeper came over and Zambrotta passed across the goal mouth for Toni to tap in.

Mauro Camoranesi, for no apparent reason sporting a samurai topknot, was unlucky to not have a bigger day. In the third minute he made a run up the middle where everybody looked like they were in slow motion trying to close him down, taking the first shot of the game but missing. In the second half he made a similar run out of midfield, but holding the ball up just inside the box he collided knee to knee with a Ukrainian defender after passing the ball off to Perotta. Camoranesi went down, and should have won a penalty for that foul, but got no call, leading to him gesturing to his knee when the ref finally came over to find out why he couldn't get up. Perotta would have had a nice shot too, if he hadn't given up on the play waving his arms for the foul. The Italian reputation for diving probably cost them that penalty, and also caused problems when Gianluigi Buffon conked his head on the post making a save and couldn't get set for the resulting corner kick, clearly having to explain to the ref he really had something wrong with him and wasn't just time-wasting.

I knew it was all over though once the only player to crack Italy's defense came on the field... Cristian Zaccardo, who put one in his own goal against the United States. Seriously, the only goal Buffon has allowed was from his own defender, and Italy is really rolling, they have a serious shot at a fourth star on their jerseys. I would also note that there is no player named Barzoggley, and anytime ESPN wants to stop pronouncing Andrea Barzagli's name that way would be just fine.

Italy 3-0 Ukraine
'6 Zambrotta
'59 Toni
'69 Toni

Italy plays Germany in the semi-final in Dortmund.

Germany v Argentina

Maybe it's just me but I was a little surprised by the unimaginative play by Argentina in the last third today. A lot of lobs over the top, when that was playing to Germany's strength, while the speed and controlled passing Argentina showed in earlier games could really have showed them up. Carlos Tevez said it best when asked if he was apprehensive about facing 6'4" and 6'5" defenders, and he said he wouldn't want to fight them, but he liked his chances playing football against them. I really barely remember the goals now, this was a good game, just not that memorable a few hours later for some reason. Possibly because I've seen 50 World Cup games in the last three weeks, and this was #49. Probably also because Argentina peaked so early, while Germany, Italy, and France are starting to roll. Anyways, Germany remains eternally unstoppable when it comes to penalty kicks, Jens Lehmann read them all right even if he didn't get to two of them, and Germany didn't miss.

Germany* 1-1 Argentina
'49 Ayala
'80 Klose

Germany wins 4-2 on penalty kicks, and faces Italy in the semifinals.

Trains in Minnesota

Finally the Northstar Line to St. Cloud is being built, so we can quit planning more and more lanes to I94 and budgeting more EMTs and ambulances to deal with the car accidents. However, let's remember the conservative principles that highway funding is not a public subsidy to drivers, nor is it central planning, and denial is just a river in Egypt. So theoretically by 2010, there should be around N 3rd ave and 5th st a commuter rail stop and a major league ballpark. Which makes me wonder, what will happen with light rail? Here's my pessimistic guess.

The Hiawatha line will still end at 1st ave, and everybody will have to traipse through the gigantic pile of pigeon shit under the skyway on 2nd. Connecting the 5th St garage that's a main hub for buses downtown, the commuter rail line, and the stadium to light rail will not occur to anyone as a cheap increase in the utility of the line. At best, the train would probably still cruise by the bus garage, since it's conveniently located halfway in between 1st ave and the new stadium site, so it's not really worth another stop on a train that already has to wait for red lights, because the traffic crossing 5th st was somehow unable to cross between trains that are several minutes apart.

The proposed University Ave line will continue to block any other development because we have to do University Ave before connecting Uptown, St. Louis Park or the western suburbs, any part of The Corridor, Eat Street, any part of Lake St besides a highway overpass surrounded by big box parking lots (seriously, it's all so set up for car traffic and parking that it's a hike to even get to a store from that station). Personally I was holding out for the Energy Park Drive line to Midway Stadium that would potentially revitalize Bandana Square. I don't have a huge problem with University, but apparently businesses are fighting it, which is odd since it isn't exactly high class businesses on that street (maybe around Fairview), but it's another route that connects endpoints but has nothing in between other than big boxes behind giant parking lots past Snelling.

Here's one thing that makes sense (even if it's probably not feasible), having it follow the #16 route down University, then down Washington across the bridge through the UofM campuses, and finally merging with the Hiawatha line at the Metrodome stop. That would mean more trains on the downtown segments, which would be nice if it's extended farther, and the U would get proper service, plus the lines hook up easily. I don't know that you could actually put trains on the Washington Ave bridge or block traffic on Washington through Stadium Village and the U.

So here's another suggestion, keep it going on University, have a stop at the Dinkydome, and then have it turn right on Hennepin, and go over the bridge down Hennepin to Loring Park, MCTC, and the Basilica. Even better, keep it going down Hennepin or Lyndale through Uptown. And then farther south where it could cut over to the Mall of America and Hiawatha line behind all the businesses on 494. That would probably be too much, but connecting lines farther out has some benefits in avoiding the hub and spoke system that adds miles to rail travel in older systems. Anyways, going as far as Lake in Uptown down a major street would go through dense business and residential neighborhoods. Going as far as Loring Park or the Sculpture Garden at least extends transit to the edge of downtown. What seems like an absolute minimum is getting as far as 5th and the Hiawatha line. Which is why I think that won't happen (too much disruption for the Jaguar dealership).

So here's another proposal, down University, past Hennepin, to the railroad tracks that run north of 3rd, and connecting with the Hiawatha line north of the Twins Stadium. Properly executed, the lines could be unified there and one single train would run from downtown St Paul to the airport. Not that anybody would take that the whole way, since it would take like 9 hours, but the continuous service between stations along the way would be nice if that sort of route happened. Actually that's the route the Northstar line is supposed to take into downtown. That wouldn't be nearly difficult enough for passengers, though. Nor would my other proposal, having the University line turn left at Central, go through town on 3rd Ave, meeting the Hiawatha line at City Hall, potentially even leaving downtown on the south side via Nicollet, to allow somebody to fly into the cities, eat at Little Tiajuana's, and fly out again traveling only by rail.

So what will actually happen of course is it will stop at Hennepin and University, and you'll have to catch a bus across the bridge to downtown, because it would save money to not redesign a bridge or build a new one. Yeah, I'm a pessimist, but I prefer pleasant surprises to the unpleasant ones the optimists get.

%@&#'ing Financial World Needs to Shut Up

Okay, now I've just had it with these people. Reading Tuesday's Financial Times wednesday morning (once a week my paper's a day late, today they outdid themselves by not giving me the Wednesday paper, which should have been an omen it was going to contain some extra stupid articles) they had the periodic fit of lunacy that passes for Simon Kuper's football coverage. Seriously I could take everything written on the subject across all media, then take the most superficial, jingoistic, ignorant, straight-from-somebody's-publicist material, write a brief summary with no fact checking, and come up with Simon Kuper's column. Actually I couldn't, because even without having an intern check it out, I would have already known not to reprint the Nostradamus thing.

His column from Tuesday is mainly raving about how Spain was going to beat France, because a) they're young, b) they blew through their group, c) they have Raul, d) Nostradamus predicted it. If I wasn't sure of his background, his argument that Spanish players ran about twice as far as French players in their first round games kind of proves he's English, because running hard, being able to boot the ball the farthest, jump the highest and hit the hardest are heavily valued in two places, the US and England. Generally, soccer is seen in a lot of the world as perhaps the only game where the primary requirement is being good at the game, not any physical requirements, in contrast to basketball where a phenomenal 6'4" post player really can't cut it at the top level no matter how well he plays.

As far as Spain blowing through their first round group, did this guy not see who was in it? Yeah, Spain won playing their reserves against an already eliminated Saudi Arabia team, and they jumped up and down on WC debutantes Ukraine in their first game, which was actually impressive. However, they struggled with Tunisia when it was time to put the group away, and Spain is legendary for being good in qualifying, getting seeded, doing well in group games and then collapsing under pressure. France has actually won a World Cup and two Euros (Spain won the first one when nobody knew if it would take off), and the pedigree of France's players is way beyond Spain's. Which brings me to point c, Raul. He's legendary for disappearing in big games for Real Madrid and Spain, and when Zidane went to Real Madrid, you never heard Raul's name mentioned again. The guy was benched by Spain's coach before this tournament, for god's sake, even getting on the field is an accomplishment for him. I seriously have no idea how somebody could take those three factors against Spain's history and France's players, and decide Spanish victory was not just likely, but inevitable. France winning was an upset, but not exactly a surprise. I'm not even knocking Spain, they played well and fooled a lot of... well, the same amount of people they always do into thinking this was the year they would do well in the knock-out rounds. Rotten luck getting France, they might have pummeled Switzerland, looking at how well they broke down Ukraine.

If none of this was stupid enough, the jocular reference to Nostradamus should have done it. Here is the relevant text:

When 2006 is six months over the King of Spain crosses the Pyrenees with his army.
Belzebu's legions await battle in the plains of Central Europe.
Destruction and defeat fall upon the evil ones.
The Holy Grail returns with the triumphant King to Hispania.

This quatrain was actually posted on rec.sport.soccer in November by a guy having a laugh. He's now killing himself laughing that mainstream media in multiple languages have gotten ahold of his and are taking it seriously. Seriously, nobody had an intern with web access who could have looked this up at Project Gutenberg or something? Or even tracked down the original reference on usenet, where the author clearly states he made it up as a joke?

More on this developing topic once I've read ABN-AMRO's report on the World Cup.

Quarterfinals Preview

Germany v Argentina

I'm hoping for a great game out of this one, and the first real test for Germany, who haven't convinced me yet that they're any better than any other host country on a roll. Personally I doubt that Germany's defenders are up to the task of handling Argentina, since they looked achingly slow against Costa Rica and nearly blew it against Poland. Ecuador and Sweden really looked like they were still sleeping off the pan of lasagna and a case of peppermint schnapps the Germans sent over the night before the game, so it's been smooth sailing for two games. Argentina on the other hand may have taken the foot off the gas against Holland, but they got a scare from Mexico to get them going full speed, and they look hungry (lasagna is being served after the final).

Italy v Ukraine

When Ukraine met a destructive, defensive team in Switzerland, that was a horrendously boring game that they only won by virtue of Switzerland's ineptitude at penalties. Italy has some attacking flair when they choose to use it, but "defense tighter than a duck's ass, rotten at penalties" is like the write-up of every Italian team but the team that won in Spain in '82. I would expect better from Italy than Switzerland, at least.

England v Portugal

No matter how the game ends, the losers are football fans everywhere with internet access, because apparently the biggest lunatics on the internet are all from Portugal or England, and they were already insufferable days before the game. England has played like shit but won, Portugal has had flashes of brilliance but looked really vulnerable and played dirty as hell, so really, if they could both lose and be replaced by a team of all-stars from the last place finishers from every group, that would be an improvement.

Brazil v France

I think this game is going to be epic. That's all I can say, epic. And if I go out of town for the 4th of July, Paul will ruin it by telling me the score.

Now that the whole second round is complete, here are the Golden Boot
contenders:

Klose (GER) 4
Crespo (ARG) 3
Rodriguez (ARG) 3
Ronaldo (BRA) 3
Podolski (GER) 3
6 with 2

(This list does not include anybody who can no longer pass Klose like
Fernando Torres and David Villa.)

France v Spain

This game is being held under the somewhat hyped up controversy of Luis Aragones' racist remarks about France star Thierry Henry. I'm not defending Aragones, and I think he probably has to be a bit of a moron considering the circumstances, but his remarks are now two years in the past. I say he has to be a moron for referring to Henry as "that black shit" in front of TV cameras, when following the game one of his players had to go back to London, where he and Henry are teammates. Now, two guys on the Spanish squad play for Arsenal, so it's triply dumb to talk like that in front of them, in front of cameras, and pretty much just in general, so that's why I say he has to be a few squids short of a paella. Of course now when Henry does work against racism in football now he has a televised incident to point to, thanks to Aragones.

This and other incidents really do point to a generation of important people in football that really needs to be put on an ice floe and pushed out to sea, as modern society and the game pass them by. Van Basten and Klinsmann had it right dumping over the hill legends with attitude problems, and Arena and Domenech might have done better not to lean on past-it guys who played in previous World Cups. I'd like to get rid of more people, like the players from the 1990 US team who keep moaning on TV about how in their day kicking the other team's best player in the kneecap 30 seconds after the game starts was just good strategy. I know the brighter stars of English sporting journalism have said the same about using the 1950's British style as a basis for analysis, with the result being that English managers can't cut it even in England. Seriously, the closest they've got is like one Scotsman who's about to retire, and if you don't believe me, google for the pessimism of England fans regarding their new boss, Steve McLaren. Case in point, Rooney looks like he could play a much more sophisticated, controlled game as a mezzapunta behind either a speedster or a centre-forward, so they played him up front on his own against Ecuador. But he's the spearhead of a generation that can play a different style and will coach a different style. In my opinion, anyways.

On a related note, there's a lot of concern over France's rigid adherence to a 4-5-1 with two defensive midfielders and a playmaker, especially since they have basically one classic playmaker left, and he doesn't do anything else like tackle or run. They looked a lot sharper without Zidane against Togo, but to be fair, Togo's a slightly easier nut to crack than Switzerland. Keeping Zidane on the field also means benching David Trezeguet, a guy who compliments Henry's wide roaming really well and has scored a bucketful of goals for France.

Now with all that pre-match moaning out of the way, here's what actually happened. Frank Ribery played a fantastic game, coming through in a way he hadn't up to this point, and Zidane was really a force as a playmaker, and considering the number of offside calls for France, his awareness of who was on and off and ability to hold the ball up waiting for better timing probably helped France out a lot. Henry spent the whole game way up front, and Spanish defenders were letting him get out there then moving up to put him offside, and Henry would stay there. His tactic for the day was to let the defenders count him out as offside, drift so he'd have space and they couldn't catch him, then jump back even with the defenders when the pass was made, and take off like the speedy little motherfucker that he is. The linesman was evidently in serious disagreement about his sense of timing, though, and Henry got about 80 offside calls.

Spain took an early lead on a really tight call, where Patrick Vieira came up a bit slow on a challenge on Pablo, and got to him as Pablo turned and shielded he ball from him. Vieira held up, but stepped on Pablo's foot, sort of, a bit, you know, barely, but in a game that was being called tight, it was a penalty. No card though, thank god, since it was neither reckless nor intentional. David Villa easily converted the penalty with a pretty nice shot, just inside the left post where Barthez had no chance. This World Cup has been low-scoring and stable, with no real come from behind wins except Australia against Japan, but if anybody was going to do it, it would have to be France, who never seem to care what the score is. I really couldn't believe France hadn't scored a bit before that, when Ribery burned the whole defense and then squared the ball across the goal, and Vieira just barely missed getting a foot to the ball to put it in, so I figured they'd come back.

In the 41st minute, Ribery streaked between two defenders chasing a ball sent through by Vieira, and drifted left as Iker Casillas came out of goal to meet him, dribbled around Casillas and went far post. Both defenders had given up on chasing him and headed for the goal when Casillas came out, and Ribery's shot went tantalizingly close in front of them, which has got to be the ultimate French goal, "I put zee ball past your feet so zat zere can be no question zat it is I who 'ave beaten you." Also classic was Henry, way offside on the far side of the field when Vieira made his pass, stopping hard, putting his hands up to indicate he wasn't pursuing the play, and gesturing to the linesman to keep his flag down, so Ribery's goal wouldn't be blown by Henry's passive offside position.

The big controversy of this game was definitely when Thierry Henry suffered a severe facial injury from Carlos Puyol's left arm brushing his chest. Apparently there are some significant nerve clusters very close together that sometimes cause Henry's face to hurt when somebody hits his chest, it's all very technical. As much of an Henry fan as I am (and I'm not even saying there wasn't contact) that was a Cesar winning performance. It was a long free kick, taken by Zidane, deflected to the back post where Patrick Vieira headed it down just in front of the line, and the downward header and resulting bounce up into the goal were too hard for Casillas to get to, and France went up 2-1.

In injury time a surprisingly deft one-touch pass by Sylvain Wiltord (described by Arsenal fans as having the first touch of a rapist) went to Zinedine Zidane coming in from the left. Zidane faked Carlos Puyol out of his boots, and as Zidane went around Puyol he made like he was going far post with his shot, and Casillas played the shot that way, setting up a tough shot. Zidane instead hooked his right foot around the ball sufficiently to send it near post, and that was all she wrote. Wiltord was arguably offside in the box, right by Casillas, which could have been interpreted as screening the keeper or interfering with play, so that's two controversial goals for France, but also one for Spain, and that just leaves Ribery's "Ha Ha, stamp collection!" first half goal.

France will play Brazil in the quarterfinals, where I think all the lasagna obviously accumulating around Ronaldo's waist will be the decisive factor.

France 3-1 Spain
'27 David Villa (pen)
'41 Ribery
'83 Vieira
'92+ Zidane

Brazil v Ghana

I tend to be a bit uninterested in the green and yellow hype machine, and Brazil really didn't look too afraid in this game. Ronaldo has now passed Gerd Muller for the all-time record for goals scored in World Cup Finals with 15, so I wonder if Nike will make Brazil continue to start him. Incidentally, the record for most goals in a single World Cup is still held by Just Fontaine with 13 playing for France in the 1954 World Cup. I don't know, it wasn't a bad game, I just get so bored watching the lethargic way Brazil seems to be playing since everybody rolls over for them. I will say Kaka is pretty fucking good, to be playing on a team with Ronaldinho and still shining as a playmaker like he did today, setting up at least Brazil's first two goals.

The aging veterans on this team and the young guys trying to crack the line-up all seem to be going all out when they get a whiff of a chance at a goal, which really makes the two best players on this team, Kaka and Ronaldinho, stand out that much more for playing in midfield and making killer passes, with less talented guys yelling for more touches, like Cafu in this game having the nerve to bitch out Kaka for not giving him the ball back fast enough. I would think these guys could be vulnerable playing guys on reputation like Roberto Carlos, who didn't play a lot of defense when he was younger and isn't as dangerous with a dead ball anymore either.

Brazil 3-0 Ghana
'5 Ronaldo
'45 Adriano
'84 Ze Roberto

Brazil meets France in the quarterfinals.

Switzerland v Ukraine

Holy god what a boring game. Ten men behind the ball, wait to hit on the break football can be interesting when you played against France or Brazil or somebody who comes out of their shell own half, but a defensive battle of Immovable Object against Immovable Object, just two teams tentatively kicking the ball back and forth and seeing what happens, not nearly so much fun. I'm skipping straight ahead to the penalty kicks, since I think I fast-forwarded most of the way there anyways (at 2x initially, so I could still follow the action, then faster and faster as the game went on).

When great players take the first PK in a shootout, they always have to play a psychological card and act like this is so easy for them that they're mildly offended at having to even go through the formality, and nonchalantly show up the keeper. When Italy went to PKs against France in '98, Roberto Baggio and Zinedine Zidane led off for both teams the same way: a slow build-up and a hesitation in front of the ball to send the keeper the wrong way, then a soft finish, all looking like it's a day at the office. Granted it's difficult to tell Gallic indifference during penalties from their seeming indifference while moving at full speed during the game. "It eez just as Monsieur Sartre says, 'Ell is 'aving to play zee vootball avec zee unworthy opponents such as you. Ah oui, I score five goals on you now." Anyways, Andrii Shevchenko tried to lead off that way for Ukraine and er, didn't actually fool the keeper, who stood his ground and dove on the weak shot. Fortunately Andrii had a secret weapon: the Swiss.

The Swiss didn't make a single penalty shot, and the Ukraine players after Shevchenko really piled on the shame for them. Milevsky ran past the Swiss fans shushing them, and then Rebrov took a nonchalant chip shot after sending the keeper the wrong way, and Gusev sealed the deal, so Switzerland just went three up and three down.

This was the first game the day after all the criticism of the ref in the Holland-Portugal game, and the ref here just let them play. This I thought was a bit of a mistake, because the game just became more destructive and foul prone. Late in the game, about the time when somebody finally gets tired and makes a devastating mistake leading to a winning goal, this culminated in Andriy Voronin getting into what looked like an NFL running play, wrestling with two defenders at the top of the box, and I do mean wrestling. I'm not saying it should have even gone against the Swiss, just that the physicality basically turned into a brawl when the players knew no calls were coming from the ref, and that type of game turns into waiting for a goalmouth scramble to accidentally kick a ball in the goal, which is boring as hell, and why I never got into MLS (which I hear has mercifully improved).

Ukraine* 0-0 Switzerland
(3-0)

Ukraine advances to play Italy, which could be a great game or another snoozefest like this one, depending on if the Italians threaten to crack the Ukraine's defense and scare some life into the game, or if they'll be in the lasagna coma and thinking they'll make it to the semis on cruise control.

Italy v Australia

Okay, here's what I really have to say about this game. If Australia could have put anything away, they'd have advanced. But they didn't, they missed opportunity after opportunity, and that being the case they can't complain about the end result. The biggest blown opportunity was after Materazzi was given a straight red for taking down Mark Viduka with a clear path to goal. Australia didn't get anything off of the free kick, and didn't take advantage of being a man up early in the second half, sticking with Guus Hiddink's strategy of always waiting until late in the game to sub in attackers. And I mean it when I say, had Australia brought on a sub and scored, I would say Italy had no business blaming the loss on bad luck and Materazzi's red card, since Luca Toni certainly had his chances as well.

So here's the rest of the deal, in what had to be the final minute of the game, Fabio Grosso came into the Aussie penalty area down by the endline on the left side, and Lucas Neill basically dove into his path to stop him, but Grosso played the ball forward to his right, away from Neill. Neill made contact with neither player nor ball, but then Grosso rather than going around went over him, fell over, and was awarded a penalty kick. Many accusations have been made of blatant diving, and Grosso was probably expecting a foul when he jumped over Neill and certainly put on a performance to sell it. If you watch the replay that was shown on the world feed immediately afterwards, Neill clearly trips up Grosso's leg with his outstretched elbow, and throwing yourself on the ground in your opponent's path is more NFL cut block than Jogo Bonito. Anyways, Francesco Totti put the PK in the upper left hand corner with no chance whatsoever for Mark Schwarzer and that was it.

Italy advances to play Ukraine, who apparently hate being called The Ukraine.

Italy 1-0 Australia
'93 Totti (pen)

Red card: Materazzi ('50)

Netherlands v Portugal

The story here was the way the referee completely lost control of the game. He may be criticized for setting a record for the record number of cards he gave out, which topped out at a staggering 16, with Costinha, Deco, Boulahrouz, and van Bronckhorst all sent off for a second yellow, but that wasn't the problem. Calling the game tight is fine, but this was a dirty game on both sides that he couldn't get a hold of. What was amazing was when he'd strut proudly up to give a player a card and behind him a fight would break out. His linesman had to tell him about the head butt Luis Figo threw while he was giving out another card, and then Figo took a ridiculous dive holding his face like he'd been hit with a hammer to get Boulahrouz sent off, to say nothing of the fight that broke out behind his back while he was giving a card to Deco.

I really gave up caring in the first half when in the midst of all the cards flying, an airborne Arjen Robben took Carvalho's cleat right just south of his clavicle, with no call until several more players were taken down and a free kick finally awarded. The Portuguese have a reasonable complaint to complement that one, since the first two times Cristiano Ronaldo touched the ball he was taken down, with yellow cards given both times for dangerous play. He left the game in the first half injured, and while he annoys the crap out of me, this is what FIFA's guidelines to cut down on dangerous play were for, to protect the creative players so we could have a game played at a high level.

That sucked, and the phantom offside calls, and the way the Oranje didn't know what to do with the ball in the Portuguese end all game sure didn't help, like when Van Persie on the end-line faked a Portuguese defender out of his cleats and sent a gentle pass rolling across the mouth of the goal, but since the rest of the team was watching him rather than making any kind of a run to the far post, it just achingly slowly, tantalizingly, rolled in front of the empty net before being cleared well on the far side. By the end of the game the Dutch offense consisted of Robben (and others) running up to people and falling over trying to get a penalty called, just disgraceful.

There were only a couple bits of real football worth commenting on in between the fouls, one was Edwin van der Sar keeping Holland in the game when he was repeatedly hung out to dry by his defenders. He had to do quite a bit of yelling at ball-watching defenders in this tournament, and came up with some brilliant moves to bail them out. Portugal's goal was a nicely done as well, a perfect square pass by Deco to Pauleta who held the ball up between two defenders, and passed it back out to Maniche for the shot. The one really memorable attempt the Dutch had was a Kuijt pass to Robben, who tried a bicycle kick that sadly went right into a defender's foot, and then Cocu played the rebound off the underside of the crossbar, bouncing down right in front of the goal but not going in. I still think Kuijt sounds like it should be Dutch slang for vagina, like "I'm in your kuijt with my kloten banging against your bruin oog," something like that.

Portugal goes on to play England, but they'll be without Costinha, Deco, and possibly Cristiano Ronaldo, who missed training due to injury but says he wants to play against England.

Portugal 1-0 Netherlands
'23 Maniche
Red cards: Costinha ('45), Boulahrouz ('63), Deco ('78), Van
Bronckhorst ('90)

Timberwolves and Adam Morrison

I have no idea who's good in college or in Europe, and there's no real consensus on who will be available when the Timberwolves pick at #6. It's not clear if the Wolves will move down, or if they'll use their accumulated 2nd round picks to get another 1st round pick. Nothing is clear, except I want to say right now, please don't draft Adam Morrison, because I can't root for anyone with that shitty 'tache. Seriously he looks like he should be on some shady underage gay porn website, and I can't look at that shit around his mouth every time I go to a game.

England v Ecuador

kind of questionable foul against Ecuador leads to a free kick 30 yards out, over the wall, surgical strike right inside the post, Mora can only get one hand to it but it's too strong. note to ESPN, the keeper was over on the left because the WALL IS SUPPOSED TO STOP SHOTS LIKE BECKHAM'S. christ all fucking mighty, is Mora supposed to stand on the near post and hope Beckham/Gerrard don't go far post?

I was a bit surprised by some of England's defensive choices, for instance starting Owen Hargreaves at right back, and starting the injured Ali G over Sol Campbell. Apparently Beckham was also not feeling too well in the days before the game, but didn't tell anybody. While he did certainly make a contribution to the game, he also threw up on the field. When Aaron Lennon came on for him 87 minutes in, I was a bit surprised that it took that long to give a breather to an old, dehydrated, vomiting player who thought it would be funny to wear long sleeves in the heat as part of some running joke with Wayne Rooney. Beckham did score England's goal, and it was a thing of beauty, but when Lennon came on and actually played like a winger, it did stand out a bit how limited Beckham's skill set has become, unlike back in the day when he still had a really high work rate.

Here's another thing, Wayne Rooney plays at Manchester United behind a classic centre-forward in Ruud van Kneestillsore, and really seems to shine playing as a mezzapunta where he can be more creative, and looked pretty good as the spark in a controlled short passing game for England earlier in the tournament. So instead he played up front on his own. And frankly I don't think England looked too good with him up there. For instance the play where he tried to pull the Andrew Katz move and poke the ball between two defenders then force his way between them didn't work as well as it did on the SPA coed 5th-6th grade team, and with no other striker and no midfielders who can get forward, he had nothing else he could do with it. Watching him try to move the pile like a fullback on 3rd and short was pretty amusing, until he started crying for a penalty. (It should be noted that like my analysis of the growing trade in securitized operating assets, this is all based on ignorant rambling and conjecture.)

The key play of this game, the one I'd expect to see again, was a ball flicked forward by Ecuador in the 11th minute. John Terry headed the ball way up in the air, still moving back towards England's goal, and Carlos Tenorio blew past him with no other England defenders anywhere in sight except Ashley Cole way across the field. What saved England was a terrible first touch by Tenorio that meant he took too long settling the ball for a shot, and Cole was able to dive into his path, meaning Tenorio had to put the shot too high to clear Cole and hit the crossbar. Playing that far up and having some seriously shaky plays by their back line will be trouble, and they've had a few miraculous defensive recoveries on what looked like sure goals to get them this far. Then again, despite playing like crap, they have pulled it out every time they needed to.

There is one other thing worth noting about Beckham's free kick goal, which was very nicely done. Beckham took a shot from 30 yards out, over a wall that got pretty high up, and had it dipping down well under the bar, just inside the near post, with a lot of power still on it, just a really impressive kick. Mora got one hand to it, but couldn't slow it down enough to stop it. Really there's nothing anybody can do about that, so don't listen to ESPN's commentators moaning about Mora's bad positioning, since he was doing his job, covering the far post, while the wall is supposed to prevent a shot like that. If Beckham can get it up and down over the wall with something on it, Mora can't do anything to prevent that unless he's left an inviting target in the space he's leaving on the back post.

Almost everybody who took their foot off the gas and tried to coast to the second round in their last game is now finished, including Sweden, Ecuador, Mexico, Spain, and Holland, with Argentina the sole survivor.

England 1-0 Ecuador
'60 Beckham

England plays Portugal in the quarterfinals, winner faces the winner of Brazil v France in the semifinals. And then we can have even more video clips of David Beckham vomiting.

Simon & Simon

A TV show that went off the air 20 years ago, Simon & Simon, recently came up in conversation.  I didn't have time then to explain why I'm so pissed off at that show, so I thought I'd take a moment now.  It really came down to episode #24:  Murder Between the Lines.  I saw I think half of that episode back in 1983 as a little kid, but I never saw the end until  about 20 years later.  Here's the thing, it opened with this shot of the bottom of a swimming pool that looked a lot like the pool I used to swim in, and these black-gloved hands slip a book with a big skull on the cover into view on the bottom of the pool, then handcuff a playfully swimming woman's leg to a grate in the bottom of the pool.  Watching somebody drown while first nobody notices and then can't help was pretty freaky at that tender age.  As it turns out in the episode, this author wrote a book where he based his characters on real people, and then killed those characters off, but now the real people are dying exactly like their literary counterparts, with a copy of the book left at the scene of each death.  The author then warns A.J. Simon that the next character to die in the book is based on him.  Then they get stuck in an elevator together, and A.J. asks how his character dies, and is told electrocution, right before live, sparking wires drop from the ceiling of the elevator, and the claustrophobia and electricity were way too much for me as a child watching this alone in the dark, so I turned it off.

Here's the reason I'm pissed off.  I saw it again 20 years later and I thought I really wanted to know how it actually turned out now that I was significantly less frightened of electricity and fictional stories in general.  Some of the idiocy of the plot was more apparent, like for instance a guy wearing the signature black gloves of all 70s-80s TV murderers while in the bottom of a pool full of people.  What I missed was Rick and A.J. cleverly escaping the elevator deathtrap, figuring out who the killer was, and showing up at his house to confront him, finding the killer having breakfast on his luxurious back terrace.  Within moments, A.J. and Rick are hiding in the house and the guy's prowling around it with a flamethrower firing burning jellied gasoline at them, and all over his house.  If that wasn't a sufficiently idiotic climax, it turns out to all be a dream that A.J. was having as he fell asleep at his desk after dealing with some banal matter for the author of the book.  20 years was a lot of build-up for something I remembered as a little kid when I was too young and impressionable to know how stupid TV was in the 80s (Michael Mann excepted), so it had to be a bit of a letdown no matter what, but my god, I felt dumber just for having seen that.  And so should anybody who actually took the time to read this.

Argentina v Mexico

After the last match day was so lifeless and Sweden couldn't get it up for an elimination game, I really needed a game to prove the second half of the tournament wasn't going to be completely devoted to unmotivated underdogs and sleepwalking favorites. To me anyways, this was a great game that could have gone for either team all the way to the end of overtime.

Mexico was up for the game and dangerous right from the whistle, and had at least one nice chance less than two minutes in. In the sixth minute, Castro was taken down near the sideline in a tackle by Mascherano that I thought at the time was really stupid, but I got used to that, seeing a boneheaded play with #8 from Argentina right in the middle of it. I just doubted Castro was going to do anything too alarming out there, but the free kick by Pardo was flicked to the back post by Mendez's header, where Gabriel Heinze blew his assignment, misreading where the ball was going and moving to help out on Borgetti. Instead, the ball continued on to the now wide-open Rafael Marquez, who fired it over the keeper into the roof of the net to put Mexico up early. I think Heinze being a tool was something else I kept noting.

Supposedly the easiest time to screw up is right after you score, and like a minute later an Argentine player was taken out 20 yards from the box, but the ref played advantage until the Argentine player who had the ball got chopped down too. The resulting free kick deflected off the wall and over the end-line for a corner, which got headed over the end-line... three straight set pieces really isn't a good thing. The next corner went to Hernan Crespo, marked by Jared Borgetti, and it's 50/50 whether the ball went off Borgetti's head or Crespo's shin, but it went into the back of the net.

Heinze tried to close out the first half in an interesting way as well by taking a short kick from his keeper and watching it dribble over his foot, oblivious to anything that might be going on. Much like Ghana's first goal against the US, it got stolen, but this time the Mexican player was taken down hard. That could have been a straight red card and a penalty for taking down a guy with a clear path to goal, but the free kick Mexico got went off the wall. Mexico definitely wasn't getting a call unless it was clear-cut, though, in contrast to the tight calls that the old-timers have been complaining about.

In the second half, another theme emerged, Juan Sorin kicking people above the waist, like when he kicked Borgetti in the face in front of goal. Borgetti's sitting there spitting out teeth, but the Swiss ref ignored it. Borgetti did do a fair bit of whining about being hit in the face as the game went on, and played for penalties a bit much, but you know, he did get hit in the face a lot. When Roberto Ayala did some weird "you have a spider on your head" thing slapping Rafa Marquez's head on a corner, that may have been a little much.

Argentina didn't show a lot of creativity offensively, compared to their earlier games, and later in the game they started bringing on the kids, Tevez and Messi. It wasn't until the end of the game when they started connecting around the box, after a period of taking the whole defense on themselves, then looking for the pass and having nobody there, to finally having it all come together. They could have wrapped it up in regulation on a nice play, to Aimar who was played onside by a player on the far side of the field, and then to Messi who was even with the defenders and then behind the ball until Aimar passed it to him, but apparently the linesman's seeing eye dog was barking at a squirrel or something and he blew the call. Seriously, I don't mind 50/50 calls going the wrong way, but it annoys me when it's clear where the error came from, not watching the whole field, and it's not 50/50, it's close offside calls always going to the defense when they're supposed to go to the attackers.

Anyways, 8 minutes into extra time, Sorin crossed the ball to Maxi Rodriguez with tons of space at the far corner of the penalty box, and Rodriguez took the ball off his chest and let it come down for a left foot volley into the far corner of the goal. There was absolutely nothing to do about a shot that perfect other than not let him get it off, so once it was in the air it was too late, this rainbow flying over the whole defense and dipping down just under the bar.

Mexico and Argentina both took some nice shots after that, but the 2-1 score held up and Argentina advances to the quarterfinal against Germany. I really would like to see the Albiceleste rolling when they get there, because that could be a hell of an atmosphere. Rodriguez and Crespo both have three goals for Argentina, if anybody's keeping track of Argentine national team bragging rights. The yellow cards for Sorin and Heinze might be an issue later in the tournament, but somehow given Argentina's reported depth I doubt it.

Argentina 2-1 Mexico
'6 Marquez
'10 Crespo
'98 Rodriguez

Tomorrow: England v Ecuador and Portugal v Netherlands

Australia v Croatia

This is a little late, but good lord what a strange game. I can't believe Croatia played the game they did against Brazil then played the way they did against Japan and Australia.

Dario Srna's free kick in the second minute was a pretty beautiful shot, over the corner of the wall and curving back into the corner of the goal, staying out of the keeper's reach. An early lead looked great for Croatia to take control of their destiny. It looked like a great game... but unfortunately, this game had Graham Poll as a referee.

I swear I thought Poll was famous in England for being an idiot who ruined games, so I was surprised they sent him to Germany. He did help the Croatians out a few minutes in when Mark Viduka was tackled in the box, and I actually mean tackled in an American or Aussie Rules football sense of the word: two arms wrapped around him from behind and dragged to the ground. No need to interrupt the flow of the game for that, I guess, so no obvious penalty shot for Australia. I thought Harry Kewell was going to help out the Croats too by trying to make a name for himself taking them all on at once, but he got a clue at some point. His nicest shot was one that the keeper got behind but couldn't hold on to because of the power Kewell put on it, but nobody stepped up for Australia to play the rebound.

In the 38th minute, Poll found his whistle when he had two fouls in the box to call, Cahill getting mugged by Croatia and a clear handball. Moore sent the keeper the wrong way and scored the penalty for Australia, to tie things up. Not every handball in the box resulted in a whistle, though, Poll really missed a lot of the action. He did send off Brett Emerton for yet another handball late in the game, so this game really was looking out of control as far as players respecting the rules (or the ref). Eventually Dario Simic and Josep Simunic would both be sent off for Croatia, so we got another ridiculous 9 on 10 game with an inept ref. The classic thing is Simunic was sent off after getting his 3rd yellow card of the game. Why he was on the field with two I have no idea. This is a reason to root for England, because refs from countries that do well can't ref the later stages of the tournament, hence the smiling ref from the UAE and Anders Frisk of Sweden getting a lot of games late in tournaments.

In the second half, Croatia scored when Aussie keeper, Kalac, just absolutely blew a shot by Nico Kovac, letting the ball roll up over him and into the goal. This really fueled an ongoing controversy over Guus Hiddink's choice to start Kalac over Mark Schwarzer in goal, because Kalac looked terrible many, many times in this game, even if this was the piece de resistance.

Australia's second goal was nice, both Kewell and Viduka were offside. Kewell took the shot, Viduka was right in front of the keeper, so really either one could have warranted the offside flag. Kewell was borderline, and Viduka could conceivably have been called passive offside, but that's a lot of maybes for the goal that sent Croatia home. Actually there was one more goal for Australia, but Poll blew the whistle to end the game while Australia had the ball in their opponent's box and a player was taking a shot, which really capped off the case for him being completely out of his mind.

Australia advances to play Italy in the 2nd round, Brazil plays Ghana, and Croatia and Japan go home.

Australia 2-2 Croatia
'2 Srna
'38 Moore (pen)
'57 Kovac
'79 Kewell

Red Cards: Simunic, Simic, Emerton

Brazil 4 - 1 Japan
'34 Tamada
'45 Ronaldo
'53 Juninho
'60 Gilberto
'81 Ronaldo

I have no idea how Japan took an early lead or how this game went, but apparently Ronaldo has tied Gerd Muller for most goals scored in the history of the world cup, passing along the way Pele and Just Fontaine.

Germany v Sweden

This game was over in a hurry, and I was hoping for something out of Sweden. I mean Ibrahimovic was back with his nutty acrobatic moves, and they hadn't set the world afire or played to their potential yet. I don't know if their hotel only offered lasagna through room service, Coldplay as the elevator music, and the Da Vinci Code on pay-per-view or something, and they couldn't shake off the coma, but they certainly didn't have much today.

Four minutes in, Ballack slipped a ball through into the box for Klose, which the Swedish keeper Isaksson came out for and knocked away, but Podolski put the loose ball into the back of the net, after deflecting it off a Swede's head. It would be a long day for Ballack, Podolski, and Klose having acres of space. In the 12th minute, Klose, moving across the top of the box, drew three defenders to him and dropped the ball off to Podolski who passed him moving the other way, and Podolski put Germany up 2-0.

The first twenty minutes were like watching Barcelona v ABN AMRO CDO or something, and the rest of the game seemed devoted to Ballack pounding away at the Swedish goal, trying to get himself on the scoreboard since the game was effectively over. Lucic got tossed for Sweden in the first half, and the only memorable Swedish attack consisted of Larsson milking a foul into a PK and then putting it into row ZZ. I suppose Sweden's elimination game was against England, if they couldn't get motivated for the whole 90 minutes of that game with elimination, playing Germany in Munich, an early meeting with Argentina, and for god's sake pride at stake, then they should have just gone home and let Trinidad play Germany.

And there is still nobody named Noo-ville who plays for Germany.

Germany 2-0 Sweden
'4 Podolski
'12 Podolski

Red Card: Lucic '35

Second Round

Just in case you weren't keeping track, here's one side of the draw, feeding into one semi-final, with today's games included:

A1	Germany  2
B2	Sweden  0	QF1
		Germany
		Argentina
C1	Argentina  2
D2	Mexico  1		SF1
			GER / ARG
			ITA / AUS / SWI / UKR
E1	Italy
F2	Australia	QF2
		ITA / AUS
		SWI / UKR
G1	Switzerland
H2	Ukraine

And here's the other side of the draw, feeding into the other semi-final:

B1	England
A2	Ecuador	QF3
		ENG / ECU
		POR / NED
D1	Portugal
C2	Netherlands		SF2
			ENG / ECU / POR / NED
			BRA / GHA / ESP / FRA
F1	Brazil
E2	Ghana
		BRA / GHA
		ESP / FRA
H1	Spain
G2	France

Here are the final rankings for all the teams that didn't make it:

17    Korea
18    Paraguay
19    Cote d'Ivoire
20    Czech Republic
21    Poland
22    Croatia
23    Angola
24    Tunisia
25T  Iran
25T  United States
27    Trinidad & Tobago
28T  Japan
28T  Saudi Arabia
30    Togo
31    Costa Rica
32    Serbia & Montenegro

Just glad to see a European team finish dead last so the internet will be deathly silent about who finished last in the whole recurring "Europe should send most of the teams" argument.

And here's the current Golden Boot leaders:

Klose  4
Crespo  3
Podolski  3
Rodriguez  3
Torres  3
9 with 2

Group H

I don't know how much there is to say about a game where the Ukraine squeaked past Tunisia when the Carthage Eagles were denied a penalty kick that could have gotten them a draw. Spain replaced all eleven starters for their game against Saudi Arabia, and won with the reserves. Not exactly a strong finish for a weird group. Spain and the Ukraine both advance, to play France and Switzerland, respectively. God only knows how they'll play, since the Ukraine has been awfully inconsistent and Spain has a long history of not showing up for big games.

Ukraine 1-0 Tunisia
'70 Shevchenko (pen)

Spain 1-0 Saudi Arabia
'36 Juanito

France v Togo

Henry's goal in the 14th minute should have stood if the linesmen actually knew the rules. Frank Ribery plays a ball past the defenders, and an onside David Trezeguet goes past them to play it. Thierry Henry moves with Trezeguet, and is past the defenders on the other side, and Trezeguet passes to Henry... who is behind the defenders but even with the ball. Henry puts the ball past the keeper for what should have been a goal, because anybody behind the ball is onside, regardless of where the defenders are. This is the second huge robbery of France after the goal the Korean keeper grabbed against his body while two feet behind the line. If this happened to the Italians or the English we'd never hear the end of it.

35 minutes in the linesmen still haven't decided to watch the game. They seem to be figuring that all players move at the same speed, so anybody who gets behind the defense must have had a head start. Henry is called offside again, because he's fast and was played onside by a Togolese defender on the other side of the field. I seriously don't know where they found these guys. Somebody get Pierluigi Collina out of that desert in Nevada where he's eating tourists, and back out onto the field. To be fair, in the 50th minute, yet another mysterious offside call went against Togo. I have no idea how they fucked that one up, but this crew will probably get the final now.

In 39th minute, it seemed clear France still couldn't score. Makelele took a long shot that was too hard for Agassa to hang onto, and Trezeguet came in for the rebound, but fired the rebound right at the keeper, who still couldn't grab it, and that rebound nearly dribbled over the line before Agassa jumped and smothered it with his body. They look a lot sharper with Zidane suspended, and the ball moving a lot quicker between Ribery, Henry, and Trezeguet. Henry does seem to be taking some weird final touches on the ball and missing the goal from point blank range.

Finally, in the 55th minute, Ribery takes the ball into the box, moving left and drawing two defenders and the keeper, while Patrick Vieira moves behind him. Ribery makes a short pass to Vieira who makes the quick turn and the shot into the corner, knowing the keeper can't come all the way back across the goal from where he was watching Ribery. In the 61st minute, Vieira flicks a header to Henry at the penalty spot, who slides right, turns and fires across the goal to the left post, and France is up 2-0.

Barthez tried to keep things interesting by diving to save a shot that was going wide, and handling it as it crossed the line to give Togo a corner kick (seriously, all he had to do was watch), but it was all over after that point. With a Swiss win over Korea, France advances to play Spain in the next round, while Switzerland meets the Ukraine (and my god will that game suck based on their other games).

Quick note to ESPN, raving about how the name "Michel Platini" rolls off the tongue is kind of stupid when you're pronouncing it wrong. Here's my Platini pronunciation guide: if he were Italian, the stress would go on the second syllable, making it Plah-TEEN-ee, and that's how ESPN keeps gently rolling it off their tongues. Since he's French, it's the inverse, PLAH-tih-NEE. The Jose+11 commercial where he appears runs 800 times a day for god's sake.

France 2-0 Togo
'55 Vieira
'61 Henry

Switzerland 2-0 South Korea
'24 Senderos
'77 Frei

USA v Ghana

The US crashing out of the cup and the character of these last day games and some of the ridiculous calls by referees really drained a lot of energy, and I've fallen quite a bit behind reviewing this stuff. But here was the US line-up for the Ghana game:

Keller

Bocanegra
Onyewu
Conrad
Cherundolo

Lewis
Beasley
Reyna
Donovan
Dempsey

McBride

Really I have no idea why McBride has to play all the time because he was good for a few weeks four years ago. He was invisible again today. Donovan's mouth seems to have completely overtaken his game, and he looks a lot worse for having failed in Europe and decided he won't play outside California anymore. Beasley there's some question as to whether this team's tactics and situation have really hindered his game, but at least he and Dempsey showed something today, and don't get me started on Onyewu or chasing Brad Friedel out of the US program. Or Ben Olsen.

The biggest "what the fuck was that" moment for me was Reyna, back with the defenders, last man to the goal, holding the ball like a statue looking for somebody he could distribute it to rather than clearing it. Apparently he has no peripheral vision, because Haminu Draman came in from his right, stole the ball and somehow injured Reyna at the same time. Draman then had only Keller to beat and scored. Ben Olsen had to come on a bit later for Reyna. Eight years ago Olsen was a fixture for our national team after coming up through DC United, and played for a second flight English team, but he hasn't been part of the national team for years that I knew of. I didn't take it as a good sign that he was playing at this level, and it obviously indicates that John O'Brian is hurt. Again.

In the 43rd minute, a Beasley pass is intercepted but muddled by Ghana's midfielders, so a streaking Beasley takes the ball back and bursts through. Getting out front on the left, he crossed the ball to the right side where Clint Dempsey was coming around the outside of the Ghanaian back line, and Dempsey pounded it into the back of the net. Perfect ball, hitting Dempsey in stride, so his first touch put it into the net. His goal dance left something to be desired, but Dempsey scored in a World Cup, so he can dance however he wants.

One of the most debated calls came just before halftime when Razak Pimpong beat Oguchi Onyewu for position on a cross, so Onyewu fouled him in the box. Onyewu had an arm wrapped around Pimpong, who fell while throwing the arm off of him, and Onyewu has been repeatedly warned about excessive use of his hands on attackers, so frankly I wasn't all that surprised that Ghana was awarded a penalty kick, which Appiah scored to tie the game going into the locker room at halftime.

Meanwhile the Czechs were down to ten men and down by one against Italy, so the US was getting everything they needed from the other game. The US had needed an Italian win in addition to a win over Ghana.

In the second half, Eddie Johnson came on for Cherundolo, who was probably playing the best out of all our defenders, kind of a strange decision. We brought on even more attackers, with Bobby Convey coming in for Eddie Lewis, but it didn't help too much. McBride did put a header off the post, our best offensive play of the tournament besides Dempsey's goal. Donovan taking free kicks and corners when he couldn't get them on target or into play was certainly helpful, as was the 90th minute shot by Olsen where he missed the ball entirely. 4th place is a fair result for the way this team played and the caliber of their opposition. Perhaps a better choice of personnel and better use of the players could have helped, but that's for the next coach to decide.

This game offered some more evidence for the total cluelessness of the world's linesmen, when three US players were offside, and the linesman put up his flag... and the ball went to Donovan who wasn't offside, while the other three moved back on, so they didn't interfere with the play. Do they even know that a player has to affect play somehow?

And how about putting some spikes in those cleats? The US was slipping and sliding all over the field the whole game, especially in front of goal. Holland and Portugal play here next, so good luck to them.

Italy advances to play Australia, and Ghana plays Brazil, while the US and the Czechs are eliminated.

Ghana 2-1 United States
'22 Draman
'43 Dempsey
'45+ Appiah (pen)

Italy 2-0 Czech Republic
'26 Materazzi
'87 Inzaghi

Noteworthy aftermath of the US-Italy game, Pablo Mastroeni is suspended for three games, which basically means two years from now he'll miss the first three games of the semi-final round of qualifying for South Africa 2010. and Daniele De Rossi for four games, which means De Rossi is officially finished for this World Cup. The Italian FA had requested that he be sent home voluntarily for his pointless attack on McBride, which was classy of them even if they couldn't enforce it, so I'm glad to see FIFA follow through for them.

Golden Boot & Last Place

Why a person would have this information at their disposal I don't know, but here's the somewhat early Golden Boot standings:

Klose Germany 4
Torres Spain 3
9 tied with 2

(Arjen Robben still just has the one goal against Serbia, and a long way to go.)

Zaccardo should have the edge in the own-goal Golden Boot race:
Gamarra Paraguay 1
Sancho Trinidad 1
Zaccardo Italy 1

And here's the leaderboard for last place:

Team (points / goal diferential / goals scored)
Togo 0pts -3 1
Costa Rica 0pts -6 3
Serbia & Montenegro 0pts -8 2

Only Togo can overtake Serbia, and they'd need to lose to France 5-0, or 7-1, or worse.

Netherlands v Argentina

This is the 8th meeting between these teams, and I do think it's interesting that the only time the Dutch lost was the final in '78. But as the 17th century Amsterdam philosopher Baruch Spinoza wrote shortly before his death in 1676 without ever seeing the Dutch win a World Cup, "De speel voetbal met twee handen rond uw keel is zeer moeilijk." (Curiously, Spinoza's syntax is often accused of sounding like he ran his work through babelfish.)

A few bench players got the start today for Holland, and 19 year old Ryan Babel coming in for Van Kneestillsore was another new face. I wasn't sure at first if leaving out Arjen Robben was an attempt to rest him for the second round or an attempt to improve Holland's anemic offense by not playing a ballhog. Based on the complete lack of energy Holland showed, I think it's pretty clear that it was the former.

Van der Sar
De Cler
Jaliens
Ooijer
Boulahrouz

Cocu
Sneijder (Maduro '86)
Van der Vaart

Van Persie (Landzaat '67)
Van Nistelrooij (Babel '56)
Kuijt

Organized into a sleepy 4-3-3 with a lot of lasagna stains on their uniforms. In the 83rd minute, as Babel was in a tough spot with two defenders at the just inside the corner of the penalty box, the narcolepsy hit him so hard he just slumped to the ground without warning. The referee stopped the game while the Argentine defenders, literally trying not to laugh at how pathetic a dive attempt that was, lifted him back on his feet. His one big shot had a nice narcolepsy bobble while he, wide open with loads of time, sat and watched a defender close on him, then couldn't get around the guy and plunked a shot off of him.

The most dangerous free kicks the Dutch took were equally uninspired. First Van Persie and then Van der Vaart couldn't shake off the lasagna coma long enough to get the ball on target, both sailed a mile wide. The defenders weren't so bad, and Argentina didn't do anything too creative to challenge them, although the point where Riquelme was calmly dribbling around the box with 4 Oranje defenders stumbling after him, and nobody could get the ball away was a little alarming. It was more alarming that Riquelme couldn't find anything to do with it since nobody made a run.

Okay then, coffee enemas all around before the Portugal game, boys, and for the love of god, lay off the lasagna. Seriously I think Van der Sar could have gotten pneumonia and bedsores being idle for that long.

Netherlands 0-0 Argentina
Portugal v Netherlands - Sunday at 2pm from Nuremburg
Argentina v Mexico - Saturday at 2pm from Leipzig

Apparently the offensively challenged Serbs finally got out of their own half and took a 2-0 lead against Cote d'Ivoire, which would have moved them out of last place for the tournament, but then they blew that giving up three goals and two penalties, and they've got an iron grip on it. I only care because the four years of hearing about the US' last place finish in France'98 were very tough on a person as thin-skinned as I am, and if Costa Rica finished dead last it sparks more arguments about how Finland or Moldova or whatever European team would have dramatically increased the quality of the tournament if they'd had Costa Rica's spot. Don't anybody undercut my hyperbole by pointing out that the next qualifier from Europe would have been one of Norway, Slovakia, or Turkey, and not Moldova.

Cote d'Ivoire 3-2 Serbia & Montenegro
'10 Zigic
'20 Ilic
'37 Dindane (pen)
'67 Dindane
'85 Kalou (pen)

Portugal v Mexico

Portugal came in leading the group, needing only a draw to be sure of winning outright, while Mexico a potential, if not exactly terrifyingly likely, risk of losing second place to Angola. Realistically Angola had to win 3-0, or Portugal had to mop the floor with Mexico. So they just played boring, shitty football, which blended in nicely with the other three games (other than maybe the second half of England-Sweden). I didn't watch the Angola game (thanks to the cheating Germans in '82 the third game of every group is played simultaneously) but it looked like they really went for the win, even if they came up short. The chances of not making it were slim, and the prize for first is playing Holland so it may be hard to get motivated, but I'm really just a bit annoyed by four straight games of sleepy football.

Portuguese midfielders kept getting great chances coming forward, including Maniche's wide-open shot in the 6th minute, and I have absolutely no idea what Marquez was thinking when he really obviously reached over his head on a corner kick. On the resulting penalty, Simao stepped up and hesitated, freezing the keeper, and then fired past him to put Portugal up 2-0.

Mexico did briefly look pissed off and dangerous after that, and a long free kick into the box led to a header for Marquez, who flicked the ball to the far post, but Bravo's shot was tipped over the bar. Fonseca headed the corner perfectly into the far post side netting, with two Mexicans waiting to clean it up if he went wide. That was kind of it though. In the second half Bravo got a penalty shot when Miguel, falling over, stuck a hand out to catch himself and hit the ball instead, but he put it way over the bar.

What really stood out, again, came when Luis Perez was tossed in the second half for his second yellow. He was called for diving, and pursued the ref halfway across the field protesting, making contact with the ref several times. That's two violations that could get him a card, for diving and for dissent. Nevertheless, we got treated to five minutes of the party line from ESPN that the refs shouldn't enforce the rules in any noticeable way that inconveniences anybody. The fact that FIFA is blindingly obviously trying to change the culture of the game and using their one high profile event to do it is completely lost on these people who are protesting that it isn't like the old days. All defenders, too... it's Harkes and Balboa whining on TV, invoking Franz Beckenbauer's statements that he's upset about all the yellow cards. Meanwhile the fans are bored with kicking and shirt-pulling, diving for free kick and set pieces are the only way to score, and the world's best players aren't on the field because their legs keep getting broken. FIFA's doing the right thing, and if the big leagues in Europe follow their lead it would be good for the long-term health of the game. If players don't expect to be penalized, a culture of cheating flourishes when there are 28 cameras covering the game, so the fans see everything the officials don't call. The video circulating of Crouch pulling on a defender's dreads to get over him for a header should prove that fans not only see this stuff, but don't consider it a healthy part of the game. Just my opinion, anyways.

Portugal 2-1 Mexico
'6 Maniche
'23 Simao (pen)
'29 Fonseca

Angola 1-1 Iran
'60 Flavio
'75 Bakhtiarizadeh

England v Sweden

In the first minute of this game, Michael Owen's knee buckled under him and he had to crawl off the field. Peter Crouch came in for him, which I would think would be England's best partnership up front. They certainly looked a lot sharper once Rooney came in against Trinidad. This also does mean Crouch is England's only healthy striker.

The Swedes set the tone for the first half when Owen crawled off the field, by not pushing up and taking advantage of England being down a man for 3-4 minutes before they took Owen away for an MRI and sent in Crouch. The Swedes didn't really show up to play until the opening of the second half. The second round can't come fast enough if this is how teams are going to close out the group stage, figuring they're 75% sure where they'll end up so why bother. At least the rest of the groups have a meaningful game left, although Ukraine v Tunisia could be two teams hitting the snooze button until the cab comes to pick up Tunisia to take them to the airport.

On the plus side, England's first goal was pretty cool. Joe Cole takes a really long shot, from way out, that looks like it's going into row ZZ, and like an optical illusion or something it drops enough to go under the bar. Isaksson got a hand on it when he realized it was coming down but not enough to tip it over the bar. It was just a perfect shot, unless you're Brazilian in which case it was a lucky fluke (like Ronaldinho's winner against England in 2002 that they didn't stop whining about for at least two years).

In the second half, the Swedes came to play, and came out on a tear to start the second half. On a Swedish free kick, Marcus Allback shook off Beckham coming across the 6 yard box and flicked a header to the far post where it glanced off the top of Ashley Cole and into the roof of the net. On the replay you can see Beckham lazily fall behind Allback and hurriedly wipe incriminating traces of lasagna from his mouth when Allback scores. That was the 2000th goal scored in the World Cup. The same play nearly scored on a free kick from the other side three minutes later, but Robinson slapped this one over the bar. Olof Mellberg put a shot off the crossbar on another set piece two minutes later, and England just looked terrible and disorganized on all these free kicks and corners. That really can't bode well. At some point during this frenzy of corner kicks England took off Ali G and put in Sol Campbell, I don't know if that made any difference, and everybody went back to sleep for a half hour.

England pulled ahead in the 85th minute when Sweden really broke down, giving Joe Cole way too much time to set up a cross and leaving Steven Gerrard unattended on the back post for the open header. Henrik Larsson tied it back up in the 90th minute on a header from a throw-in to preserve Sweden's 38 year unbeaten streak against England, but I don't know that anybody really wanted to win this game. Fortunately for Sweden, they got the draw and Trinidad blew it against Paraguay to give them some insurance, but god, I wish there was a bye for group winners or free coffee and hookers or something to wake these guys up for the last game.

Sweden 2-2 England
'34 J. Cole
'50 Allback
'85 Gerrard
'90 Larsson

Paraguay 2-0 Trinidad & Tobago
'25 Sancho (o.g.)
'86 Cuevas

(Of the three goals scored by Paraguay and Trinidad players in this tournament, two were on their own #&@$'ing nets.)

England will now avoid Germany until the final, sparing us the horrible taste shown by English fans, who apparently have no associations for Germany other than a war they didn't live through (some of them did, obviously, but I'm referring to David Beckham hiring WWII fighters to fly over his World Cup party and all the idiots taking inflatable spitfires to Germany, where doing something like that is considered glorifying the deaths of millions in the war and the holocaust). I have an uncle who fought in the pacific, and knew many guys in the navy who were insanely racist towards asians all their lives because of serving in that war, but I'd be ashamed to tell him I was going to Japan for a World Cup carrying an inflatable Enola Gay. I don't know why this is annoying me so much, but it's probably because both the US and Britain are in the middle of a war and dealing with the aftermath of terrorism, so "My grandparents were good at killing yours!" seems like a really dumb thing to say at a fucking game. Maybe England's next game can be moved to Dresden if they really want to rub it in. I'm sure I do the same thing, but I'm using the Ian Wright exception and claiming it's not hypocrisy when I do it.

England plays Ecuador on Sunday, and the winner plays the winner of Portugal vs Holland. Sweden plays Germany on Saturday, with the winner playing the winner of Argentina vs Mexico, although I have a fair fucking clue who that's going to be.

I think this is by far the most disturbing image to come out of this world cup.

Germany v Ecuador, Race for Dead Last

While I can't claim to be an expert on Ecuador's player pool, supposedly they came out with a pretty weak line-up for this game. Ecuador had already qualified for the second round, and the second place finisher may have an easier quarterfinal, so it wasn't like there was a lot to play for. Ecuador came out sluggish, and really didn't look threatening for most of the game.

Miroslav Klose took charge of the golden boot race with two first half goals through a very disorganized Ecuadorean defense. In the second half on Podolski's goal, Mora practically just watched it go past him into the net, and the Ecuadorean defender playing the cross did a great job. Way too far away to put any pressure on Schneider, but in perfect position to let Podolski get ahead of his defender without being offside.

Germany 3-0 Ecuador
'4 Klose
'44 Klose
'57 Podolski

And in the race for dead last in the tournament:

Poland 2-1 Costa Rica
'24 Gomez
'33 Bosacki
'66 Bosacki

Costa Rica making up some ground on Serbia, who are currently still dead last. Contending for that spot, all with zero points:

Team +/- Goals
Cote d'Ivoire -2 2
Togo -3 1
Iran -4 1
Costa Rica* -6 3
Serbia -7 0

Everybody but Costa Rica has a game to play and can move up (or down), and get off this list by getting a draw or better. The marquee match-up for incompetence is Cote d'Ivoire against Serbia & Montenegro tomorrow, ball-hogging versus not getting out of your own half.

Friday Implications

FREITAG
9am
Saudi Arabia v Spain
Ukraine v Tunisia

The Ukraine has a shot at displacing Spain if the Saudis win and the Ukraine beats Tunisia by like at least 5 goals. So basically the Ukraine game is to insure that they make the second round. A draw for the Ukraine finishes off Tunisia and would require the Saudis to beat Spain by 5 goals to displace the Ukraine. Really the risk is a win by Tunisia puts them in the second round. Barring something ridiculous, Spain will probably head to Hanover, and the Ukraine or Tunisia to Cologne.

2pm
Togo v France
Switzerland v Korea

I wrote this whole mess up, but really, whoever loses is going home, along with Togo. If Korea draws, they have to become the world's biggest Togo supporters or they're screwed, and France had better be looking to win big. Winner goes to Cologne to meet the Ukraine (or Tunisia), second place to Hanover to play Spain.

Tunisia v Spain

Eight minutes in, Ziad Jaziri running downfield shakes one defender off of him, takes the rest of the defenders down with him into the six yard box, turns around and comes back, still fighting off three guys, and chips the ball across the box to Mnari arriving out of midfield. Casillas saves Mnari's first shot, but Mnari is the only one to follow the rebound, and pounds it past Casillas to take an early lead for Tunisia. God I was laughing my ass off at that, given how built-up Spain is in the media every tournament. They're everybody's favorite dark horse, but they always melt down at some point. It's hard to play football with two hands around your throat. Spain's talent will probably still win them this game, because it Tunisia couldn't put away Saudi Arabia they're not going to put away Spain, but I can't help but enjoy seeing the Carthage Eagles put a goal like that past them. Supposedly there's a major issue in that for much of the Spanish team, there is no such thing as "Spain" they all want to bring home a trophy to, because most of them think of themselves as coming from Valencia, Catalunya, Euskadi, etc. Anyways, it's just a theory I've heard.

Apparently according to Spanish coach Luis Araagones, Spanish striker was not on the bench because he's an overrated player who goes missing in big matches for Real Madrid and Spain. In fact, he just didn't particularly want to play in a world cup. Well, apparently they coaxed him out onto the field in the second half of this game, because he came on as a sub to score the equalizer for Spain. In the 71st minute a pass across the top of the box by Joaquin, and a step-over by Torres left the ball with Xavi Alonso, who took a weak shot across the ground. The Tunisian keeper gave up a huge rebound, which was a huge mistake, and Raul, following up on the play got to it first and banged it into the net.

The Tunisian keeper really was the difference, and five minutes later Fernando Torres gets a bit ahead of the defense on a long pass, and the keeper comes way out to the corner of the box to contest it, whereupon Torres, who looked like he was positioning himself to hold the ball up to wait for teammates, just fires it past him into the empty net. Torres came up with a third goal in stoppage time when he was hauled down in the box for a penalty. The keeper got to the shot as well, but knocked it down underneath himself without slowing it down, so Torres scored. On Tunisia's only real chance to tie things back up, they had about 4 guys offside, and still got a player booked for dissent for arguing the call.

But what I want to know is what the deal was with the guy waving the confederate flag in the Spanish supporters' section after the third goal? Andalusia shall rise again?

Spain 3-1 Tunisia
'8 Mnari
'71 Raul
'76 Torres
'90 Torres

Ukraine v Saudi Arabia

I really thought the Ukraine's 0-4 complete annihilation by Spain might come back to haunt them, but Tunisia's struggling to a draw against the Saudis helped, and so did this game. Other than at about the hour mark when the Saudis went on a real offensive spree, they looked pretty well outclassed by the Ukraine.

Defender Andriy Rusol scored early for the Ukraine on the receiving end of a set piece, and it looked like things might get interesting after that. Teams are usually a little disorganized and vulnerable after scoring a goal, kind of like the brief male post-coital coma, so there was some awfully shaky marking by the Ukraine on a set piece at the other end. Rusol also came close to scoring an own goal on a shot that deflected off his shin 20 minutes later, but generally speaking the Ukraine's defense was pretty solid. Rusol had the perfect tackle in the penalty area in the second half, sliding and knocking the ball away from Omar then pulling his legs back so abruptly to avoid the foul and a penalty. So well done that Omar, when he tried to stretch his leg out and make contact with Rusol before falling down, couldn't reach at full extension, and tripping over a piece of dirt three feet to his right got him a yellow card for diving.

Sergei Rebrov, back from the Land of the Dead (or maybe it was just Tottenham) kept it going with one of those long shots that's in the back of the net before anybody realizes he's taken it or where it's going, and the keeper has to just watch it rattle the net on the far side. It was looking like 3-0 when a Saudi defender tried to make a bicycle kick clearance on a ball intended for Andrii Shevchenko, unfortunately his clearance went right to a wide open (and probably surprised) Andriy Voronin who put it wide. The Saudis committed what I thought was a really pointless foul out at the sideline in stoppage time, and Shevchenko finished off the half with a header off the free kick.

The Ukraine's defense got back in on the action late, in the 84th minute Shevchenko, pulling the whole defense and the keeper towards him him like a magnet, cut a ball back for Maxim Kalinichenko, who put it in the top of the net as the keeper vainly tried to dive back across the goal. Really nice looking stuff from the Ukraine, and nice to see the defenders, who really could use a boost of confidence after the thrashing by Spain, score two goals.

Apparently only Italy and Saudi Arabia use only players from their domestic leagues, something that's often commented on by Italians who go abroad, that you can't make the national team even if you play for a huge club in Spain or England. The Saudis have the issue England has had, where English players were so considered so valuable by English clubs that there were cheaper alternatives. The Saudis apparently make so much in Saudi Arabia that there's nobody willing to offer enough to lure them away. I kind of wonder if that puts a ceiling on player development, like Landon Donovan only playing in California, but hey who knows.

Ukraine 4-0 Saudi Arabia
'3 Rusol
'45 Shevchenko
'36 Rebrov
'84 Kalinichenko

Brief Implications for This Week's Games

DIENSTAG
9am (US Central)
Costa Rica v Poland
Germany v Ecuador

The Poland-Costa Rica game has no implications whatsoever outside Costa Rica and Poland. I guess the city of Hanover might have an interest in a calm, uncontroversial Poland win, since they'll have a huge number of Polish fans in the city. The big game is in Berlin, though, and Germany needs an outright win to take the group. Both teams advance anyways, and their opponents won't be decided until around 4pm. The draw doesn't dramatically improve either way. Winner goes to Munich, loser to Stuttgart.

2pm
England v Sweden
Paraguay v Trinidad & Tobago

Again, the Paraguay game is for last place, with Trinidad needing only a draw to finish third and give the finger to everybody who said they shouldn't be at the tournament. England v Sweden decides who plays Germany and who plays Ecuador, and thanks to a little help from Trinidad, England only needs a draw to finish first. Winner goes to Stuttgart, loser to Munich.

MITTWOCH
9am
Portugal v Mexico
Iran v Angola

Angola has an outside shot of taking second in this group, but they need to beat Iran to do it, and they need Mexico to lose, and they need to make up a few of goals on top of it. Mexico can also take 1st away from Portugal with a win. Whoever finishes on top goes to Nuremburg, and second place to Leipzig.

2pm
Holland v Argentina
Cote d'Ivoire v Serbia

The CIV-SCG game is possibly for dead last in the tournament, since Serbia has a two goal lead on dead last, and owns the tiebreaker. The Holland-Argentina game is for the group lead, and because of the 6-0 thumping Argentina put on Serbia, the Dutch need to win outright. BTW, what a disapointing Group of Death, the worst record in the tournament might come out of this group and it was all over after two matches. Winner goes to Leipzig, loser to Nuremburg.

DONNERSTAG
9am
Czech Republic v Italy
USA v Ghana

God only knows how this will all shake out in the Diet Coke of Death (just one calorie), the only team that can't win it is the US. Winner goes to Kaiserslautern, second place goes to Dortmund, and trust me, you don't want to go to Dortmund (see below).

2pm
Brazil v Japan
Australia v Croatia

I'm totally looking forward to Australia facing the country that provides a third of their players (by ancestry, they didn't have a yard sale in Split or something). The Croats need to win outright to stay alive, and even that may not help. Brazil can win the group with a draw, Australia can clinch second with a win (or first if the Japanese go nuts and wax Brazil by 3 goals or something), the Croats and the Japanese both need wins to pass up the Australians for second. Realistically, Brazil will go to Dortmund, and the winner of Australia v Croatia will go to Kaiserslautern.

So to the person most likely to call me everyday and ask this stuff, here you go. I'll get to Friday when I finish watching Spain v Tunisia, so go get an ottoman or something.

Group G - SUI, KOR, FRA

I forgot to summarize what happens on day three for Group G (not that anybody would have noticed that omission). The short version is: win on Friday or you're probably fucked.

Group G Standings:
Switzerland 4pts 2-0
South Korea 4 pts 3-2
France 2pts 1-1
Togo 0pts 1-4

Togo was eliminated by their loss to Switzerland, but Switzerland, South Korea, or France can all easily finish first, second, or third. On Friday, France plays Togo, and Switzerland plays South Korea.

The simple outcomes:

If France loses to Togo, they are eliminated. South Korea would need a win to win the group, Switzerland needs a win or a draw.

If France beats Togo, the winner of the Switzerland-Korea game wins the group, and France takes second.

The complicated one:

Switzerland draws with Korea, and France beats Togo, so everybody is tied on 5 points. Starting with the lowest scoring way (0-0, 1-0) it works out like this:

1. Switzerland - goal differential +2, min goals scored 2
2. Korea - goal differential +1, min goals scored 3
3. France - min goal differential +1, min goals scored 2

To move up, France can a) win big, b) score a lot of goals, or c) a combination of both. Here are the possibilities, and who finishes first and second:

1) France wins by 3 - FRA. SUI

2) France wins by 2

2a) France wins by 2 and Switzerland scores as many goals as France (in a high scoring draw) - SUI, FRA

2b) France wins by two and outscores Switzerland by 2 on the day - FRA, SUI

2c) France wins by 2, scoring one more goal than Switzerland - coin toss between FRA and SUI for 1st

3) France wins by 1

3a) France wins by one, outscores Korea on the day by 2 (2-1 and 0-0, 4-3 and 2-2, etc.) - SUI, FRA

3b) France wins by one, and outscores Korea on the day by less than two goals (1-0 and 0-0, or 3-2 and 2-2) - SUI, KOR

So basically anybody who doesn't win is looking at elimination by France, and a higher scoring draw is a potential 3-way tie-breaker versus France for both Korea and Switzerland. A win may do it for France, but every goal they put in the back of the net is a potential 3-way tiebreaker.

(BTW, there can't be a perfect three way tie since Korea and Switzerland can't have the same goal differential, so no need to go to the "throw out the results against Togo" tie-breaker subsection, thank the lord. Head to head is irrelevant because only teams that drew against each other can tie.)