Early on here I'd have to say the the bobbled snap on the extra point was strangely reassuring. I thought it was a nice drive with some nice 3rd down plays, and Taylor's first run for seven yards was a nice change what from what the Vikings running game had become in recent years. Scoring quickly on the first drive was so great to see, but maybe a little too good. This is the Vikings we're talking about, so you know they'll leave you speechless after some bizarre screw-up, and a quick scoring drive would have just made me nervous waiting for the pendulum to swing. The holder juggling the snap like a hot potato and a kicker half my size trying to get out and lead block for him was enough of a goofy "Only the Vikings" moment, and now I'm just glad that the three linebackers who dropped Kluwe short of the end zone didn't bury him too deep in the rich earth of Landover, MD. May this offering please the gods of Ragnarok, so they don't smite us in the 4th quarter. Vikings 6-0 The Washington NFL Team (I know that doesn't sound right, but I forgot their nickname so I checked the Strib).
Just as an aside, there is one thing I still don't understand. The issue just came up on TV about Dwight Smith being deactivated for this game as a disciplinary measure. What I want to know is, how come if you get a blowjob from a subordinate on antique furniture the oval office you can still be president, but if you get a blowjob in a stairwell you can't play football just a few miles away in Landover? Ironically, the aptly named Clinton Portis will play tonight.
Holding the WNT to a field goal in their first possession seems alright, since there were a few familiar areas of concern on that drive. The first play, a screen pass to Santana Moss for 23 yards, the increasingly creaky Mark Brunell's ability to scramble for a first down, and the success throwing to Portis out of the backfield all indicate to me the usual problems at linebacker, leaving a lot of space underneath and reacting slowly. What was nice to see was the WNT going back to a very successful play and getting stuffed, like the next screen, and the 3rd down pass to Portis that came up short and forced the field goal. If the Vikings defense is more reactive and adaptive than in previous years, I may be a lot less of a gloomy fatalist. And I'll have to find something else to complain about.
Wow, this second drive is a little goofy. Wiggins attempt to hurdle the safety, only to run into a couple linebackers in the air, looked... awfully painful. He also lost the ball and was lucky that it wasn't recovered, and that he was ruled down by contact. Also the long, perfectly thrown pass to Troy Williamson really underlines what I've always thought, this guy's like Orlando Jones in The Replacements, he can get open deep but he doesn't know what to do with the ball when it gets there. The special teams look a lot better on coverage, thankfully.
On the WNT's second drive, the Vikings are all over Brunell, this is a welcome sight, and the swing pass to Moss isn't catching anybody unawares. And my Vikings bias requires me to note that he totally threw the ball away on 3rd down, that should have been intentional grounding. Jesus Christ, Tom Cruise is in the owner's box, that's strangely unnerving. It's weird how creepy that guy got in such a short time. The Vikings respond with another 3-and-out featuring a penalty and a deflection at the line of scrimmage that nearly turned into an interception for a TD. Randle El looked close to breaking the punt return open for a TD, and the WNT start out tat the 50 yard line, but instead of that drive, I think I'd rather see an interview with Jamie Foxx about how great Tom Cruise is. Oh good, that's what ESPN is showing instead, and by the way, that was never a first down by Randle El on the drive they're ignoring. A dangerous screen pass and a stupid penalty in between Jamie Foxx anecdotes about Tom Cruise have put the WNT at the 6 yard line, and Clinton Portis runs it in, which is frustrating, because I was really into hearing about how Tom Cruise helped Cuba Gooding Jr. win an oscar ten #@$*'ing years ago. They couldn't figure out why people stopped watching Monday Night Football at the same time the popularity of the NFL was booming, how about just calling the fucking game and not thinking people tune in to hear a bunch of old sportscasters talk about nothing like they're in an ESPN Classic Seinfeld episode. Seriously I don't know how much more I can hear about Tony Kornheiser's fantasy football roster.
Holy buckets how was Troy Williamson a #7 overall pick? Two mysteriously dropped passes in the first half by our compensation for losing Randy Moss. He catches something and there's an illegal formation penalty, which is basically like the ref going over to your coach and saying "Your players don't know where to line up, dee-dee-dee!" The field position the WNT is getting is phenomenal as our offense is stalling, Randle El's starting to screw with the special teams, and this is getting goofier. Santana Moss left the field and came back to make a red zone catch, like the Seinfeld episode where Kramer leaves the subway car to get a gyro and runs back on. And now on a routine hand-off Kevin Williams took down the QB and forced a fumble, to remind me to have faith in Thor. That was actually pretty cool. As was Darren Sharper nailing Santana Moss in the end zone so hard he forced an incompletion, leading to a field goal. WNT 13-6 Vikings, even though ESPN just announced it's 13-7, since apparently they have bad seats and can't see the score board.
The Vikings came back with a late field goal in the first half, but several minutes into the second half on a Vikings drive into Washington NFL Team territory, there has been zero coverage of Tom Cruise. Things are looking up. Marcus Robinson hauls in a touchdown pass thrown up and over a d-back's shoulder, and the Vikings get the extra point procedure down to take a 16-13 lead. The WNT tie it back up with the help of some boneheaded penalties like roughing the passer, which really makes me wonder why Childress' new era of harsh discipline doesn't extend to cutting down the number of penalties Vikings teams committed in the Green/Tice eras. Speaking of coaching, Longwell missed a 54 yard field goal, which is really not unexpected but an odd choice to go for the field goal there, I wonder if he's just afraid Randle El will break open a punt return?
On the Vikings last drive, I have to give credit to Troy Williamson for one game-changing play. On 3rd down, he made a catch right even with the 1st down marker, and was pushed back over the line, muddying the waters as to whether it was a first down, but he broke the tackle and scrambled forward to keep the drive alive. He's still a shrimp with no hands, but that was a nice play. The end of that drive, with the Vikings eating up the few remaining minutes on the clock before kicking the winning field goal, was such a welcome sight after years of Denny Green's total unconsciousness of clock management, and it forced the Washington NFL Team into a desperate final drive leading to a missed 47-yard field goal. If this went to overtime I was going to lose my mind over the missed extra point, like I did that time the Bills beat the Vikings by one point after two missed Vikings PATs.
By the way, the only nicknames I commonly hear for tonight's opponent are the Deadskins and the Foreskins, and the paper calls them the Washington NFL team, so it's no wonder I can't remember their name. I initially thought the Strib's queasiness over the franchise's name was amusing and transparently political, but eventually, I had to admit I couldn't come up with any straight-faced argument for keeping the moniker "Redskins", so screw it. I'm still working out my position on which of Smith College's traditional mascots they should use, the Virgins or the Unicorns.
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