1. A $10 gift card to the Chicago Chop House. For $10 you can eat some peanuts at the piano bar and watch the paramedics work on the heart-attack victims.
2. A collection of yard signs from Michele Bachman's congressional campaign that I plan on putting in Phil's yard. (Relax, I'm just kidding.)
3. A road-tour package of the United States, featuring the New England fall colors, a gastronomical tour of Louisiana, the Grand Canyon, and the Pacific Coast, with transportation exclusively provided by Megabus.
4. A hummingbird feeder which will attract even more hornets to the Candyman's balcony while he's buzzing around it sipping nectar.
5. The Sweet Sixteen DVD collection, featuring 16 Candles, 16 Blocks, and North Pole #16.
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