Seriously, keep the Kraken where it is. I know that sounds like something I'd say in the Captain's hot tub (possibly about that floating lobster) but it's still good advice: nobody needed to dislodge the Kraken this movie season. The Kraken looked like it was on a nice career swing in the last ten years after turning a cameo in Fellowship of the Ring into a feature role in the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels, and I know the Kraken's gotta eat, but it's still sad to to see so many talented people (Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Mads Mikkelsen and Polly Walker, amongst others) slumming it in a movie that's sold by one of the worst A-list actors working today... I think Sam Worthington is the new Keanu Reeves, doing for facial expressions what Keanu did for awkward line readings. On the other hand, bad as she is in this movie Gemma Arterton is still a delight to the eyes as a brunette (Strawberry Fields the oil-covered red-head secret agent was one of the highlights of Quantum of Solace). Honestly Hades was so bad in this movie I was sure he was played by William Hurt, like my brain wouldn't accept the idea of somebody as professional as Ralph Fiennes going that far over the top.
Sadly this capped off a run of a few mediocre re-imaginings and attempts to milk franchises I've seen recently, including a dreadful showing of The Wolfman. I went to see it at one of the last ripped-screen, clock-radio sound system dollar theaters operating in the Twin Cities, but really the script had enough to apologize for on its own. There seemed to be a couple plot elements cut from the film hinting first that water could reverse the curse, foreshadowed by the revelation that as children Benicio del Toro and his brother used to use a waterfall as sanctuary from their father, and his gasp of recognition and meaningful glance at the dripping water in the sewer. So when at the climax when Emily Blunt, who has secret off-screen gypsy confidential information about how to save him, finds herself with wolf-Benicio at those same falls over looking the raging water, and nothing comes from either one of these themes, it screamed "focus group re-write".
Really though I have to admit I'm most irritated by Lego Indiana Jones 2. I don't know what's so strangely addictive about these little Lego film characters, but I started realizing I had a problem with Lego Star Wars and Lego Batman when I started dreaming in Lego. The well-documented, unplayable glitches in Lego Indiana Jones helped me wean myself off those games a bit, but then they had to come out with a sequel that included The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull and some more levels inspired by the earlier films. This made me realize that while I remember enjoying KotCS and didn't drink the Hateorade on the last movie like some people, I actually didn't remember a lot of the plot or the characters. I also have no interest in playing a video game as Mutt, since I hated that character the moment Shia LaBeouf came riding out of the fog in his village people biker outfit. (The only thing I've liked him in is that SNL digital short where Andy Samberg and Bill Heder shoot him six times as soon as he walks into the room and starts talking.)
But really, what annoys me the most is the seemingly unavoidable influence of Super Mario Bros. on all games, especially sequels. For some reason, these Lego games have to keep inserting more and more moving platforms and jumping puzzles, until every location turned out to be the side of a giant cliff or a pit of lava. until in this game there are entire levels that are unrelated to the source material and just consist of cartoon bricks and lava pits straight out of every nintendo platformer ever. This happens everywhere: the gameplay of Doom was so good that it's still playable 20 years later, but every new first person shooter will inevitably come to a screeching halt when I hit an impossible jumping puzzle. I've seen every Bond film, and I honestly don't remember so many tense "Can Bond climb this ladder in three seconds???" sequences... and I really have to groan when a hunting game of all things requires clunky tight-rope walking across a fallen tree sequences to get to new areas. Just let me shoot terrorists/animals like your cover art promised. It always seems to get worse for sequels, like the truck racing game that was fun but didn't include picking up hammers and throwing darts and spinning from bars or having your truck get up and walk, so all these things made it into the bug robot racing follow-up. Ridiculous... now get off my lawn, you damn kids.
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