Despite seeing it with my own eyes, I still haven't the foggiest idea how the Vikings won this game. I thought I'd try for a more refined version of my original thought, which was "No fucking clue what the fuck that fucking game was all about. Fuck."
Our inept offense was up to their usual tricks, scoring a field goal on their opening drive (after a red zone penalty killed their chances at a touchdown) and then contributing nothing but turnovers until the fourth quarter. The special teams were certainly very "special" today. The kicking team got a delay of game on a field goal, when you'd think they'd know where to line up by the fifth game, and also got an extra point kick blocked that would have tied the game in the 4th quarter. Mewelde Moore did the worst thing you can do as a punt returner, touch the ball without catching it, when he let a punt go through his hands then had to chase it when it bounced away from him, then lost it to the Lions. To be fair the punt coverage team did come up with two great plays, pinning the Lions against their own end zone.
One of those plays however, started off a series of events emblematic of the first three quarters. Chris Kluwe kicked a booming punt that bounced inside the 5-yard line, and the punt coverage team knocked the ball out on the 1-yard line, making the Lions line up in their own end zone. The defense stuffed them, even though the refs spotted them a yard on every down, and on second down the Vikings forced Jon Kitna out of bounds in his own end zone, which should have been a safety, but the refs gave him an extra couple yards and put the ball on the 1 again. After getting stuffed for 0 yards, the Lions punt was the one that went right through Mewelde Moore's hands, and when the Lions recovered it they had advanced 66 yards. The defense forced another punt, limiting the effect of the special teams error to losing field position, then the offense turned the ball over to give the Lions another short field, and they scored a touchdown.
Down 17-3 in the 4th quarter, the Vikings offense choked on their lasagna and woke up again for a few minutes, and scored a touchdown. Then the defense, who I thought would be fading by the 4th quarter, sacked Kitna and forced fumble which Ben Leber recovered in the end zone which should have tied the game if the special teams hadn't blown the PAT. I was really sure that would be decisive, but apparently the buffet table ran out of lasagna, because the Vikings put together another scoring drive to go up 19-17 with three minutes to go.
The game was still very much in doubt, and the Lions were challenging for the winning score, but the defense more than held. They forced a desperate 4th and 10 play from the Lions, and chased a harried Kitna ran around in the backfield, dodging three tackles, only to get slammed by the 4th and cough up the ball to Napoleon Dynamite, who ran it back 45 yards for the "GO HOME YOU'RE DONE" score to put the Vikings up by 9. Needing two scores, the Lions still looked like they were aiming for a score in the closing minutes, and anything could happen on an onside kick, but Darren Sharper iced it with an interception and the game ended on a Vikings kneel-down.
Crazy, crazy, crazy-ass frustrating game. I seriously thought our QB would get the hook at halftime, and I wouldn't be surprised to see the Tardis get some playing time after the bye week. Up next is the bye, then a road game in Seattle, then back home against the Patriots on Monday Night Football. Bring in the horns!
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