Sunday, October 15, 2006

Rocky VI, or how I figured out the secret formula of Rocky's appeal

I think I've finally figured out why Sylvester Stallone is making another Rocky movie when it's been over 15 years since the last one bombed.  The last good film to come out of that franchise was a quarter century ago.  And I've figured out why he's so confident that the ridiculousness of the premise won't daunt anyone, the idea that a guy who was told his brain would explode if he ever fought again would wait until he had arthritis too before stepping back into the ring.

In the first movie, Rocky fights Apollo Creed, and that got Sylvester Stallone the only Oscar and BAFTA nominations of his career (best actor and best original screenplay).  Then he fights Apollo Creed again, and people liked that.  Then he fights Clubber Lang, and that was okay too.  Then he fought the Russian, and suddenly everybody felt a little embarrassed to be watching an over-the-top love poem to Ronald Reagan's America.  Then he did the movie where Rocky isn't supposed to fight anymore so he beats up a corn-fed Nebraska farmboy in an alley, after the kid's already been pounded on by the heavyweight champion of the world, and this is important, that he's finishing the job started by Union Cane.

So why was everybody so excited to see Rocky fight Clubber Lang (played by Mr. T) and Apollo Creed (played by Carl Weathers), but not excited about Rocky fighting Tommy Gunn and Ivan Drago?  It's simple, really... I think the reason so many people watched Rocky was to see an Italian beat the crap out of black guys.  I mean the guy was breaking people's thumbs for a loan shark, if he's going to play to that stereotype, I just figure he's probably one of those guys who can't stand for black people in his neighborhood either.  Apollo Creed as it turns out came from L.A. to Philly so a local boy from one of America's most racially divided cities could wrap himself up in the American flag and pummel Apollo's ass on the 4th of July and send him back to California with his tail between his legs.  That movie must have killed in the northeast back in the 70s.

I wouldn't have noticed except that when Rocky started fighting white people, the whole franchise crashed and burned.  It's even more subtle than that.  In Rocky III, Rocky first has a charity match against wrestling star Thunderlips, portrayed by Hulk Hogan, the preeminent (fake) wrestler of the early 80s.  Mick tells him not to do it, not to fight another white man, but Rocky ignores his advice, and suffers for it.  He is injured, leading to his disgraceful loss to Clubber Lang, and suffers further when Mick dies during the fight.  When Rocky starts to train with Apollo Creed in an all-black gym in LA, where he can only beat up black sparring partners, Rocky finds his will to fight and goes back to beat up Clubber Lang.

In Rocky IV He even went after Ivan Drago just to seek vengeance for Drago doing too good a job beating up Apollo Creed, and well, killing him.  Nobody was too excited about seeing that, apparently, and I think it's because the audience felt Rocky was on the wrong side, like maybe he had his priorities out of order.  And Rocky is again punished for fighting a white guy, because in the beginning of Rocky V, immediately following the events of Rocky IV, it turns out Rocky's lawyer stole all his money while he was in Russia, and he also can't fight anymore because his brain will squash like a grape if anybody hits him again.  But the real misstep was when Tommy Gunn, bruised and bloodied from beating up Union Cane, shows up at Rocky's gym.  Rocky comes out of retirement against medical advice to finish the job Cane started, and beats this kid unconscious.  The opportunity to pile on an already battered white guy got him to risk his life for one more fight?  Had Rocky just totally renounced fulfilling racist fantasies?

The only glimmer of hope for the franchise to return to its racist roots was the end of the film when Rocky punches out a black guy who was just standing there.  Apparently, if a black guy shows up in Rocky's neighborhood wearing a nice suit and some bling, well the Italian Stallion doesn't put up with that sort of thing.  He was talking a little trash, but still, in the first movie we see Rocky get in trouble with his loan shark boss for not breaking a white guy's thumb, so we know Rocky abhors violence.  The only times Rocky throws any punches outside the ring it's to hit that guy, and to beat up sides of beef in a meat locker.  Isn't it at least a little strange to see that when it comes to violence outside of boxing, Rocky puts black people on the same level as cattle?

The premise of Rocky VI is that a sports show is so desperate to find somebody who can beat up the black guy who's the reigning heavyweight champion that they run a computer simulation of Rocky Balboa vs Mason Dixon.  The fact that the guy is named after the historical dividing line between two visions of race in America doesn't doesn't speak volumes, no.  Anyways, just like every working-class Irish racist relative I have who thinks that at age 75 he's tougher than the black kids he tries to chase away from his house, even with arthritis Rocky Balboa figures he's tough enough to take on the world champion.  At this point I wouldn't be surprised if he just runs out for the big fight in a Klan robe.

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