Of Bats and Kats

Filming is due to begin on the next Batman film, and everybody from Batman Begins is returning, Christian Bale as Bruce Wayne, Michael Caine as Alfred, Gary Oldman as Ben Gordon, everybody but Katie Holmes. They're not just writing her character out, which would have been easy enough, instead they're recasting the part with Maggie Gyllenhaal, cutting Katie Holmes out of ever appearing again in a billion dollar franchise.

This is interesting, given the rumors that TomKat was a marketing creation, where Tom Cruise would squash rumors he was gay and appear more wholesome and less like he'd stepped out of an X-Files episode with a pitcher of kool-aid. Of course, they never quite pulled it off, and Katie talking about her marriage like a celebrity prom date ("Wow, I like totally had a crush on him back when Top Gun came out... then I turned 8 that winter. So being married to Tom Cruise is like, so cool... er, isn't it?"), coupled with her parents growing and public horror, kind of made it backfire, and gave way too much material to anybody with a sarcasm bone (Free Katie!). Not leaving the house for months or being seen by anyone after her baby was born got really creepy as well, especially when her husband was out railing against the medical establishment and post-partem depression in particular. If she doesn't make another movie, I'd check the flower beds for fresh dirt.

Tom Cruise manage to blow whatever positive publicity Katie was supposed to get out of the deal, and is allegedly the reason she's been replaced in The Dark Knight. One reason is indirect, since the producers of Batman Begins apparently didn't appreciate having their advertising campaign overshadowed by her moonbat wedding. But the other reason is Tom has supposedly nixed Katie appearing in any love scenes with Christian Bale, and I certainly can't blame him feeling threatened. One thing about Christian Bale, his creepiest role was in American Psycho playing a 1980's serial killer who can barely hold it together and keep from killing people in public places, and the flustered and insane smile his 80's pop obsessed homicidal maniac character gets at those moments is basically 80's icon Tom Cruise's default public expression. When people cross him (like the guys who squirted him with water from a fake microphone) the wild-eyed grin becomes even larger. I would seriously worry that after spending so much time with the charming Christian Bale-* Katie would watch some of his movies, and wonder why that character seemed so familiar. Then she'd go home and find Tom had painted all the walls white and was listening to Huey Lewis & the News. Given Katie's decline, it looks like Michelle Williams will remain the only cast member to survive Dawson's Creek... perhaps literally.

*-Multiple ex-girlfriends have noted their opinion that I'm entirely too enamored with Christian Bale, generally in a jealous, catty sort of way. I myself must note that while they've all gone, I still have Batman Begins, Equilibrium, and Metroland to enjoy, and that scene of a young Ewan McGregor and Christian Bale frolicking naked in a fountain in Velvet Goldmine will remain preserved for eternity on film. That is quite a film for images of male actors... even after Bend it Like Beckham, Mission Impossible 3, and Match Point, every time I see Jonathan Rhys Meyers I still picture him in Velvet Goldmine snorting cocaine off a naked woman's back while making bitter philosophical pronouncements on gender to his estranged wife.